Dark Venting, Yet Healthy For My Mind

All I've got is a photograph, and I realize your not coming back. (Ringo Starr; "Photograph") 

Sad Farewell Ali Bear

Severed joy bleeds into emptiness. I got too close with Deborah many moons ago, and for three years her awesome preschool aged daughter Alondra fueled my soul with laughter and wisdom. By the time Ali was 5-years-old, she was more socially adjusted then I'll ever be. Everyone who was lucky enough to bask in her presence, be hugged by her and have her eyes light up because she was truly glad to see you got to understand their really is some kind of grand design. A beautiful blissful place that can only be reached in death, an ultimate meaning to life waiting to be seized. The power of death took Ali bear when she was just 17-years-old. Suddenly she was gone of all the lives she left her mark upon, leaving her infectious smile and laughter in the den of darkness.

 Ali had a plan, she was focused, by he time she was 25-years-old, she would have had a master's degree, making mortgage payments with a solid retirement plan and been successful doing what she wanted to do, and now the world is a much lesser place without her.

Dark Mark

Unappreciated, unloved & longing for Mother night to caress me with her dark embrace, swallow my soul and spit me out of this hellish Earth and into a universe dominated by love and laughter, a world where creativity rules and bills and work are nothing more than a twisted nightmare.
So easy to pull the trigger to my own head, but I have a platelet donation appointment on the 22nd and another one after that...