That's me, the happy failure, and no, this blog is by no means a boo-hoo-hoo I hate my life and want to die and feel sorry for myself drivel scribble.
While the following may be drivel, I'm certainly not down on myself, but non the less, a loser. I consider myself a failure because I never had the talent to play center field for the Oakland Athletics, will never be a journalist for the New York Times, Oakland Tribune, Cloverdale Reveille, a photographer for Playboy Magazine or Sports Illustrated, never write a best selling novel, nor star in a Broadway play. I'll never make the huge bucks, so I will never channel massive amounts of money into my local educational system and my income is too low for a man my age to land a decent women;
'Love and romance? Not a change with my current finance.'
I love my new job, even though janitorial work is not nearly challenging enough for my creative mind, but I'm not smart enough for success or to work in a field I truly love working in; that old chest nut, didn't pursue journalism immediately out of high school, too much of a head case to work full time with children, blah, blah, ouu laa laa, life goes on.
I still reminisce of the early part of this century when I was a preschool teacher for the YWCA, A Children's Place from July 2000-September, 2004. Taking pictures of the children engaged in various activities and play, then using those pictures to make year books for the children going off to kindergarten was one of my favorite aspects of being a preschool teacher. I also learned I'd have been a horrible father while teaching preschool.
My back yard for over a week earlier this month.
This is the worst island (the big island) according to some. Hmm...
When your on the same IQ level as preschoolers, they bask in your presence, but they don't listen to necessary direction, hence it's hard to teach even the simple things such as color and shape recognition and writing their own names. Now I just volunteer with children once a week at the YMCA which is very rewarding and fun for me, especially reading to the little ones.
When I worked at A Children's Place I was living with and dating a woman who had three children, including her youngest child Alonda who was 3-years-old at the time. Alonda was one of the children enrolled in A Children's Place and in my group, The Brown Bears, hence, that's how Debby and I met. Other parents and teachers at A Children's Place enjoyed my presence perhaps because I was 'quote, unquote' a normal human being with a fiancée in touch with life in the land of the loving.
Fast forward to now, Debby and I remain friends, while the insane powers that be took 17-year-old Alondra's life in January. Proof there is no divine plan, gravity through billions of years randomly pulled various matters together, and here we all are, living and dying just because...
The art of nature in Hawaii.
I've learned to embrace the positives in life; a few fantastic friends who embrace me like my unobtrusive companions such as Irene (my Saturn) and Rush music / lyrics. I have a full time job with awesome benefits. I honestly thought I'd never travel anywhere my entire life because of a lack of income. Employment with a company that issues Paid Time Off, currently 18 days a year, and will top out at 33 days yearly. If I play my cards right, I can travel annually for the rest of my life utilizing my PTO hours, and continue to share occasional evenings with a drink and friend(s).
Blogging and photography are valuable assets to my sanity and joy as well as barbeques and ball games.
"Profound joy of the heart is like a magnet that indicates the path of life," Mother Teresa said.
