Fifty Minutes Of Christmas Time Laughs

Season two and three of "The Office" Christmas episodes are highly recommended views for fans of comedy and December's holiday.

"Christmas Party," the 10th episode of "The Office," season two lures the laughs with the shows patented soliloquies and timely humor. Like many work places, including mine, the "Christmas Party" has the employee's in the office doing a Secret Santa. There's a $20.00 maximum price-tag for your co-workers gift. The boss Michael shakes things up when he spends $400.00 on his gift. When Michael receives a home-made oven-mitt from Phyllis, he turns Secret Santa into Yankee Swap, aka, White Elephant or Nasty Christmas.

Yankee Swap is simple, a person can steal someones gift or pick a new gift that's wrapped. If your gift gets stolen, you can steal someone else's present or pick a new gift.

Before Michael received his oven-mitt, Jim got an old shirt from the Creed. In Jim's soliloquy, Jim states that Creed obviously forgot to get him something and went into his closet and dug up an old shirt and gave it to him. Creed responds, yep, that's exactly what happened.

Once Secret Santa has transformed into Yankee Swap, things immediately go awry in a laugh out loud way. Ryan opens his random gift, and receives a flowery desk name-plate with 'Kelly' etched on it. That was meant for Kelly, Stanley said.

The "Christmas Party" is sentimental without being sappy. At this point in the show, Jim and Pam have still not gotten together, even though it's clear there meant for one another. Jim's gift to Pam winds up with his office nemesis, and often prank recipient, Dwight. Jim is clearly distraught.

Kevin reignites the laughs when he gets the foot-bath he bought himself. Kevin got himself for Secret Santa, and didn't tell anyone, so he could buy himself the foot-bath. The look on his face is priceless when he realizes he could have gotten the $400.00 video iPod Michael bought.

The office party is disastrous until Michael purchases $166.00 worth of booze for his workers. Upon the purchase, Michael asks the cashier if 15 large bottles of  booze is enough to get 20 people plastered!

This episode to me is an over and over watch for the holidays. "Christmas Party" is funny and fits the season.

"A Benihana Christmas," the 10th episode of season three gets going quick with the laughs when Dwight brings in a dead goose he ran over on the way to work. Dwight's plan is to cook the goose in the office for a Christmas dinner.

Michael's Christmas joy turns to sorrow when his girlfriend leaves him. To help cheer him up, he's taken to Benihana's restaurant with some of the guys from the office for drinks and food. Pam and Karen team-up against Angela to rival her Christmas party with the remaining crew in the office.

Kevin wants to go the party Pam and Karen are having in the break-room, buts decides to go to Angela's party in the conference room because Angela has made home-made double fudge brownies. Kevin has seconds on dessert, and Angela tries to stop him because, not everyone has had a first helping. Kevin tells her, she's got to be kidding (there's tons of food) and Angela looks down at Kevin's stomach and says, you've got to be kidding; Kevin then takes a bite of the chocolate.

This episode of the office illustrates the spirit of Christmas, and its signature office humor is fantastic.

                                                                                      Izzy Schurr, aka, Mark Schurr

"Stan Lee & the Rise & Fall of the American Comic Book," A Modern Moron Book Review

Comic books are responsible for creating a curriculum of cheap thrills, gaudy pictures and simply constructed sentences that stunt the imagination of an entire generation, a journalist wrote in 1940.

Comics teach children to hate authority figures, a tool that leads to deviant criminal acts, and promotes sexually charged and lurid violent acts. These were other things 1940s journalists wrote about the young industry of comic books. The writers and artists retaliated by stating that any form of reading is a good thing for children to be doing.

"Stan Lee And The Rise And Fall Of The American Comic Book," was a book released in 2003, 15 years before Stan Lee died of natural causes on Nov, 12.

I acquired this book briefly from the Rohnert Park Library. It's a good read for any fan of comic books. Stan Lee, a Marvel Comic book icon was indeed a focal figure for spawning Spider-Man, The Fantastic Four, Thor, The Incredible Hulk, the X-Men, The Silver Surfer and hundreds more comic book heroes and villains.

Time Magazine credited Lee as the creator of Spider-Man in 1998. Five years later, when this book was released, it stated that Lee was the co-creator of the webbed wonder. Lee tended to be a credit hog, but none the less, he was a skilled writer, artist, promoter and publisher.

Lee was smart, in the 1940s as an artist and writer for Marvel Comics he was one of the first to credit himself. Remember the many Marvel Comic book covers of 60s and 70s that were littered with Stan Lee presents...?

In the 40s, Lee, Jack Kirby, and Steve Ditko were Marvel Comics for all intensive purposes. All three of these men drew and wrote original stories for Marvel Comics. Of course there were other writers and artist for Marvel, but these three men alone co-created Spider-Man, The Fantastic Four, The Silver Surfer, and the dozens more that flourish on the big screen to this day.

In 1966, Ditko quit working for Marvel Comics and he was not happy at all that Lee received full credit for creating Spider-Man. Essayist Greg Cwiklik stated that Lee took too much credit as a writer. Many people in the comic book industry in the 1990s considered Lee to be irrelevant or the public image for a corporate bully (Marvel) rather then an underdog pop hero. That's what I really enjoyed about this book, written by two journalists, Jordan Raphael and Tom Spurgeon, it's not all praise for Lee.

When I was 4-years-old in 1968, The Silver Surfer was introduced to the masses. Lee acknowledged that Jack Kirby was the creator of the Silver Surfer, which he was, but Lee made the cosmic wanderer poetic;

'Paradise unearned is but a land of ruins' Lee wrote for the Silver Surfer when the Beatles were still together.

In 1988, Lee also wrote the 64 page graphic Silver Surfer comic book, "Judgment Day," drawn by French artist John Buscema.

The Silver Surfer was Lee's favorite comic book character. The Surf man, also my favorite comic book character failed to find a sizable audience. The Silver Surfer was directed toward older readers and tended to have more pages and a  higher price then other Marvel comic books. Lee said the Silver Surfer was a career high light for himself.

The 60s were the hey-day for Marvel, Spider Man was also created in that decade.

I lost interest in the book when it detailed business aspects, but Peter Paul, co-founder with Lee in the late 90s or early 2000s for Stan Lee Media, an Internet start-up company that turned out to be a financial scam headed by Paul.

Paul was on trail for the Stan Lee Media company that was shut down in the early 2000s. Lee was not much a business man, at meetings in the 90s, he said very little and often doodled during the  meetings. Lee said about Paul, he'd never be so trusting again. Paul was still on trail when this book was published. Izzy Schurr, aka,  Mark Schurr

Vintage Christmas Movie Is Marvelous

"People are only institutionalized to be kept from harming themselves or other people; Mr Kringle is incapable of either, his is a delusion for good," Dr. Pierce said.

Dr. Pierce played by James Seay is a psychologist from the vintage movie "Miracle On 34th Street." This 1947 flick won three academy awards. Actor Edmund Gwenn who portrayed Santa Claus was awarded best supporting actor that year, and writers Valentine Davies (best original story) and screen-writer George Seaton were the other award winning recipients.

Kris Kringle (Gwenn) was a last minute substitution to be Santa Clause in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, because their Santa was too drunk to participate in the Macy's fest. Macy's executive, Doris Walker, played by Maureen O' Hara also hires Saint Nicholas (Gwenn) to be Macy's department store Santa Clause for the Christmas season.

Walker and the head of the toy department adore their new hire Santa Clause, and so does Mr. Macy. Santa (Gwenn) advises parents where they can find certain toys for their children, even if the toys are not at Macy's.

Mr. Macy credits Walker (O' Hara) and the toy department manager for increasing the stores profits. Macy's profits soar because parents perceive the store management as heartfelt and into the spirit of Christmas, hence more shoppers.

Walker (O' Hara) soon has her doubts about her new hire Santa, because he actually believes he's Santa Clause and has previously been released from a mental institution by Dr. Pierce (Seay).

Macy's psychologist, Mr. Sawyer, a grumpy cheerless fellow claims Kringle displays violent tendencies because of the way he yields his cane, and he recommends that Santa should be fired immediately. Mr. Macy doesn't care that his new hire Santa actually believes he's Saint Nick, so Walker does not fire him. 

Doris Walker is a very professional and logical single mother who tells her daughter there is no Santa Clause, and is very adamant that her daughter not believe in childish fantasies. Defense lawyer, Fred Gailey played by John Payne is in love with Doris Walker, and he makes her angry when he takes Natalie Wood, Susan Walker, the 9-year-old daughter of Doris to see Santa.

Nine-year-old Susan, (Wood) like her mother tells Santa to his face he's not really Santa, and this sets the challenge for Kris Kringle. Kringle says to Susan's mom, Doris, that if he can convince her, a sheer doubter, then he can convince anyone he's actually Santa Clause.

The conflict gets into full gear when Susan (Wood) asks Santa for a real house for Christmas, and soon afterwards, because of the Grinchy Mr. Sawyer, Kris Kringle winds up on trail for lunacy in the New York Supreme Court.

Supreme court Judge, Henry X. Harper thinks he's got himself an easy case, all he has to do is rule in a court of law, there is no Santa Clause. Before the trial even begins, Harper learns quickly the conundrum he's in for. His young grand-daughter and even younger grandson shun him because he's putting Santa Clause on trial for insanity. 

Harper is an elected New York judge and he knows that if he rules in court there is a Santa Clause, his own sanity and career will be in jeopardy. Here's the advice he receives from his friend and professional advisor;

"Go ahead, go state that the New York Supreme Court rules there is no Santa Clause, it's all over the papers, the kids read it, and don't hang up their stockings, what happens to all those toys that are supposed to be in those stockings? Nobody buys them, the toy manufactures are going to have to lay off a lot their employees. Department stores and the candy makers also lose a fortune. The only votes you're going to get are from yourself and the prosecuting district attorney."  The district attorney is a republican judge Henry replies with dismay.

If defense lawyer, Fred Gailey cannot prove authoritatively that Kris Kringle is really Santa Clause, then Kringle will be sentenced to a mental institution. All seems lost until a letter to Santa Clause from a random child addresses the letter to the New York, City Courthouse as opposed to the North Pole. 

After the prosecution rests its case, Fred Gaily reads to the Judge an official document from the U.S. Post Office. Gaily makes the following point clear in court; The postal laws and regulations make it a criminal offense to willfully misdirect mail or intentionally deliver mail to the wrong party. After Gaily illustrates this fact, members of the U.S. Post Office deliver several bags containing thousands of letters addressed to Santa Clause to Kringle while in court.

Gaily says to the judge; Members of the U.S. Post Office, a branch of the Federal Government have delivered this mail to Kris Kringle, declaring him to be Santa Clause.

"Since the U.S. Government declares this man to be Santa Clause, this court will not dispute it," Judge Henry X. Harper said, concluding the court case.

Fred Gaily ignites the spirit of Christmas, takes command of his career, and is loved by the woman of his desires.

Gaily, upon his victory in court invites Kris Kringle to have dinner with him, Doris and Susan that night, and Kringle respectively declines, saying he'll be very busy, it's Christmas Eve.

On Christmas morning while Fred is driving with Doris and Susan, Susan excitedly gets out of the car while it's briefly stopped, and runs into a house that is for sale, it's the house she asked Santa for. Fred and Doris agree they can't disappoint Susan, so they both decide to buy the house. Santa's cane is leaning against the wall. Doris and Fred both see the cane and look at each other in amazed curiosity...   

Five stars for this rated G Christmas classic, "Miracle On 34th Street."
                                                                                          Izzy Schurr, aka, Mark Schurr 

Month Old Parody Child's Book, Actually Helpful To Hurricane Victims

In September, Hurricane Florence ravaged North Carolina and instantly, well over 1,100 people were homeless and more then 40 persons were killed. South Carolina Gov. Henry McMaster estimated the damage at $1.2 billion and also claims Hurricane Florence is the worst disaster in the states modern day history.  https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hurricane-florence-flooding-north-south-carolina-virginia-death-toll-today-2018-09-20/

On Sept., 19, President Donald Trump visited the hurricane mauled town of New Bern, North Carolina and his words of wisdom and compassion displayed what a fantastic president and human being he is. I'm joking of course, in the wake of this disaster, Trump once again show-cased his idiocy and complete lack of empathy. Trump actually said to some people that lost their house in the hurricane; Have a good time.

When our president visited New Bern, North Carolina on Sept., 19, he said to one resident whose home was destroyed and had a boat appear on his storm-ravaged yard: "At least you got a nice boat out of the deal.” https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stephen-colbert-selling-trump-childrens-book-to-help-hurrican-victims_us_5baefbeae4b0343b3dc04705

"Whose Boat Is This Boat? Comments That Don't Help In The Aftermath Of A Hurricane" by Donald Trump (by accident) is an 18 page large print picture book based on an idea by Emmy Blotnick. The staff of "The Late Show With Stephen Colbert" used President Trump's exact words to produce "Whose Boat Is This Boat?"    Izzy Schurr aka, Mark Schurr

The book is very affordable and 100 percent of the proceeds will be donated to The Foundation for the Carolinas, The One SC Fund, The North Carolina Disaster Relief Fund, and World Central Kitchen. (goodreads.com)

Library Lunacy, Stories Written More Than A 180 Years Ago

If there is a dark power which malevolently and treacherously places a thread within us, this unseen force may become our very selfs, and once we have surrendered our thoughts to the dark influences of the mind, all cheer and tranquility is lost. (Ernst Theodor Amadeus Hoffmann)

The above paragraph is from the 1816-1817 short story, "The Sandman" by the German writer E.T.A. Hoffmann.

Olimpia, she was a robot woman who appeared human to the character Nathanael. "The Sandman" author, Hoffmann never referred to Olimpia as a robot, but she was indeed inhuman and meticulously manufactured and appeared real, especially to the Nathanael.

Nathanael forgets his love for Clara, the leading woman in "The Sandman."  A savage hurricane lashes the ocean, its waves rear-up like black giants with white heads filled with  the rage of combat. Through all the chaos, Olimpia has no eyes, just black caverns where the eyes should be. (Hoffmann)

"The Sandman" is a tale of love and horror, a graphic mind journey into the depths of bad dreams, brutal murders and the mystical doctrines of the Devil.

A man's head is shattered on pavement, and the brutally murdered man is either Nathanael or Lothar, Clara's brother. How would Clara's mind cope with life without her brother or the only man to arouse her loving gaze? 

Is the Sandman a real beast who tears the eyes out of children, and brings their eyes to his hideous children to feed upon under the crescent moon? 

"The Sandman" is one of over a dozen stories from the book; "Horror Stories: Classic Tales  From Hoffmann To Hodgson." The stories where written in the 1800s.

Author James Hogg's 1827 story, "George Dobson's "Expedition To Hell" explores thoughts and dreams. Hogg claims dreams are the results of the soul having intercourse with the external world. "Expedition To Hell" poetically illustrates 'Ultimam Cogita,' consider the end or think of the last hour of life, vanish into the gloom and tread the dreary labyrinth as best you can. 

I learned from "Berenice," the 1835 tale written by Edgar Allan Poe that I'm a monomaniac, meaning that I tend to fixate on a single subject to the point of insanity, like the focal character in the story, Egaeus.

All my passions are of the mind now, nothing is real. I'm a creature of chaos and the infinite imagination is my only link to serenity. The untapped reservoirs of ancient and new tales spawned on the printed page cater to my soul and justify some kind of reason for my existence. 

The nearly 200 year old tales from the book "Horror Stories," spurned my imagination and enhanced my desire to seek out the works of writers long past. Long live the library!
                                                                                              Izzy Schurr, aka, me.