Friday, November 11, 2022

Modern Moron Movie Reviews

Hurling into the void without the slightest inclination of who or what is out there, only to find Emperor Ming the Merciless with the power and desire to pulverize the entire Earth. 

Pictured is Dale Arden, Melody Anderson and Flash Gordon, Sam J. Jones leaving the planet Earth on Dr. Hans Zarkov rocket ship. Zarkov, also aboard the rocket, arrives at the kingdom of Ming. Minutes upon their arrival, Ming chose's Dale Arden to be his next concubine, the public execution of Flash Gordon and literally reprogramming the mind of Dr. Zarkov.

Encased in glass for all to see, the death dust of Ming kills Flash Gordon, and the tomb of Flash is completed. Lucky for Flash, Princess Auru, Ming's daughter wants a ravenous rendezvous with Flash on Sithera, her secret pleasure moon.      


Immediately upon resurrection, Flash Gordon awakens to Princess Auru, Ming's daughter, fantastically portrayed by Ornella Muti. Her voice always puts me in a coherent daze. Amazing casting!  

Princess Auru persuaded the executioner to bring Flash back to life with a special injection. Auru tells Flash she brought him back to life with a magic kiss because she likes him.  

"Flash Gordon" is funny and romantic without being sappy. Lust without lunacy.   

Princess Auru and Prince Barron from the planet Mongo have a bizarre lasting love affair. The tale of Flash Gordon began in the early 1930s, if not sooner. This 1980s version follows the basic story-line from the originals with its modern twists.   

Princess Auru trying to convince her father, Emperor Ming, Max Von Sydow, to allow Flash Gordon to live. 

The special effects were nothing near its predecessors, "Star Wars" and "The Empire Strikes Back," and didn't need to be, it's a comedy with pleasant punches of drama now and again.  

Screen play writer, Lorenzo Semple jr. weaved the timeless tales of love and lust and good versus evil with clever dialog and a believable story amidst sheer fantasy. 

The people of Mongo must team up with their enemies, the flying warriors from the planet Ardentia in order to combat the mighty Ming. Flash Gordon, aka quarter back, New York Jets uses his pro football skills to unite enemies to combat Ming.  

Released more than four decades ago, "Flash Gordon" remains as fresh and funny as it did in 1980. Four stars easy for this flick.  

Mark Izzy Schurr