"Everything Men Know About Women," A Modern Moron Book Review

 

I read this book in less than a minute, its more than 50 pages and I comprehended it thoroughly, I'm not trying to scam anyone. 

Dr. Alan Francis, America's Foremost Psychologist wrote this book and a writer for the Chronicle said; "Says it all." 

Word around the campfire claims many men have died or been killed trying to obtain the information contained in this book. 

The book contains five chapers; Making Friends With Women / Romancing Women / Achieving Emotional Intimacy With Women / Making Commitments to Women and Satisfying Women In Bed. 

Four and half stars easy for "Everything Men Know About Women."  It would have been a five star read if I didn't have to chapter the book myself. 

Mark Izzy Schurr

Dogstar: All In Now Tour, A Modern Moron Music Review

 

I expected 1970s rock 'n' roll on Friday night, and found myself amidst the realms of melodic grunge fused into a colossal cocktail of progressive and acid rock. 

The musical imagination of Dogstar went way beyond predicable genres of music, the band definitely has a signature sound that impressed me. 

Keanu Reeves didn't say a single word during the entire show, it was all about Dogstar and its sounds on Friday night. The band was focused and serious, yet light hearted, having fun on stage and true to their songs.    

If your a fan of live music, I highly recommend seeing a Dogstar gig. Dogstar was a very photo friendly band. I wish I brought my Sony hi-fi video camera, it would have been allowed in. I missed a golden opportunity on that one.

With all the political apathy ruining and dividing this county like never before, the unification of music via Dogstar on Friday night was refreshing and showcased the infinite pursuit of positivity. Note to self! My spirit has cause again to flee from the darkness of today's ills. 

The show started a few minutes after 8 p.m., and was over before 10 p.m., perfect for an introverted old foggy such as myself. I hate people, but I love gatherings, it's bizarre. Four stars easy for this Dogstar show. 

Mark Izzy Schurr 

 

 

"Mortal Kombat II, A Modern Moron Movie Review

 

The entire universe works according to the laws of nature and "Mortal Kombat II" shatters the laws of physics. Actor Johnny Cage and Earth's best warrior, Liu Kang are the two Earthlings chosen for the six on six Mortal Kombat tournament. 

The losers of this tournament face absolute death or complete submission in the world's of ruin while the winners can set their own rules to many realities and save the Earth. Some say the storyline and visual effects are sub-par, others said it remained more true to the video game and it's fatalities. Personally I found the 'finish him / her moves gore-geous on the big screen. If you liked the first one released in 2021, I see no reason you shouldn't like "Mortal Kombat II." 

Like the first movie, this flick also pokes fun at itself for over the top special effects and scientific impossibilities. I still laugh when I hear Johnny Cage telling the Mortal Kombat gods in the first movie, they can't even spell combat. 

The violence is graphic and a bit cartoonish, but I liked that, "Mortal Kombat" movies are not supposed to be intense. It's a movie based on a video game. 

Kitana in "Mortal Kombat II" showcases the residence, compassion and power of the female species. She's an excellent role model for girls and young women of today, and yes, she's a bad ass when she uses her war fans. Make no mistake, the fans Kitana uses look exactly like those paper folding fans made in China, but trust me, you don't want to give her any reason to use them on you, unless you want to be decapetaded or severly cut. 

Three and a half stars easy for "Mortal Kombat II," it took me by surprise, people die you don't expect too and its fantasy will always aid my mind from our current political demise. 

Mark Izzy Schurr

    

"Normal," A Modern Moron Movie Review

"Normal" is a clever dialog / action flick with some over the top violence and sly comedy thrust into a crazed cocktail of political corruption and gangster violence. 

Prominent Japanese gangsters have an intense interest in the fully stocked bank vault residing in the town of Normal, Minnesota. A substitute sheriff, brand new to Normal is forced to become prey or hunter against the heavily armed town people and Asian gangsters. 

As the plot thickens, enemies must join together to stay alive. "Normal" isn't a barrage of explosions and gun-shots, it's a tale of morals and survival. Just when your ready for the predicable, something else happens.

A light hearted moment occurs when the sheriff pulls out his ticket book, writes on the ticket and places it on a woman's windshield who sees this, and before she can complain about the parking ticket, the note on the ticket says; Park better.

Bob Odenkirk portrays sheriff Uylsses. Myself, my brother Leon and one other movie patran were the only three to attend the Monday night showing of "Normal" at Airport Cinemas. This movie was nothing like the films "Nobody" and "Nobody 2" according to the man who saw "Normal" and both of the "Nobody" flicks starring Bob Odenkirk. 

"Normal was first released in Toronto in 2025 and America in April 2026. 

Three and a half stars easy for "Normal." 

Mark Izzy Schur  

   

"Dr Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine," A Modern Moron Movie Review

Simone O. Elias said the 1960s beach flicks, particularly the ones with Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello haven't withstood the test of time. She also said these movies were objectifying, yet liberating for women. 

"Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine" was not specifically mentioned in Elias's book "Old Films Young Eyes," nor is it a Beach Party movie, but it's the same genre and contains a lot of bikini clad ladies. 

Vincent Price portrays the titles villain who assembles a legion of robots guised as luscious ladies. His robots target extremely rich men, get them to fall in love, and then persuade the men to sign over their fortune to Dr. Goldfoot. The star robot, Susan Hart, mistakenly targets Frankie Avalon, a pauper according to Dr. Goldfoot. 

A true cult classic? A movie so terrible it's great? Who am I to praise or pan? I can't honestly say I liked this flick, but I've watched it multiple times and I always laugh at Avalon's government job title; SIC. 

With pride he's told he's a member of the Secret Intelligence Command, "You're a SIC man!" 

Susan Hart seizing her victims attention.

Dr. Goldfoot's robots programed to be gold Diggers. 

Three and half stars because this Reel-Ality is a pleasant escape from the current ills of reality. It seems like the world is plunging further into a nose dive with every single news headline, but there's always hope, Simone O. Elias said. 

Elias shares her wisdom and film knowledge in her book, "Old Films, Young Eyes." In the book she reviews Pre-Code Hollywood flicks, movies from 1930-1934 and 1960s films. Her insight on Reel-Ality and actuality makes absolute sense, she's clear, consise and insightful in her reviews. 

Mark Izzy Schurr   

  

The 2026 Olympics, Captivating Reality TV

 

I was blessed to watch Alysa Liu live, the Bay area sensation on ice win the gold medal in this years winter Olympics. 

Alysa Liu-Min-Nating lived up to the hype. She needed a perfect performance to defeat the two ladies from Japan, and she did just that a broadcaster said. However, if Japan's Kaori Sakamoto had won gold or even Mono Chiba, I wouldn't have been shocked. I got the Alysa Liu-Min-Nating from a skating broadcaster.  

"She skates with so much freedom and wild abandon, throws herself into these jump, she's a veteran and has the experience," an announcer said about Sakamoto who place second to Liu with a silver medal. 

Sakamoto, right after finishing her performance on ice to seize the silver medal. 

The Bronze medalist, Mono Chiba was also a sheer pleasure to watch. Everything she does is done with precision and accuracy, a broadcaster said about Chiba. One thing is certain to me, I wouldn't want to be a figure skating judge. Chiba, Sakamoto and Lui are all first place podium pythons in my opinion. 

Prior to this years Olympics, I never heard of Alysa Liu. She's only 20, and like Chiba she won back to back world champion in figure skating before the age of 20.  

Lui retired from the sport when she was 16, obviously came back to skating at the highest level. After winning the gold in February she said; "I don't feel the pressure, I don't care about competition results. I skate now to show my art, and that was art," Lui said. 

Oakland native Alysa Liu after winning the gold 

There were 351 events during the two weeks of the Olympics and my favorite sports besides the women's single skating events included the doubles figure skating competition and the men's and women's hockey gold medal matches, both against Canada. I'm no hockey fan by any stretch of the imagination, but it was a sheer pleasure to watch the women play the Canadians from start to finish. I even called out from work to watch the USA gals play Canada live and wow, what a game. With just over two minutes left in regulation, America trailed Canada 0-1. USA's leading scorer Hilary Knight tied the game in regulation and the American ladies went on to win in sudden death with a 2-1 victory over the Canadians, the same score as the men who also won in overtime against Canada. 

The cross country skiing showcased the endurance and stamina needed for the athletes who participated. 

The uneasy covenant between the mind and body. Can the mind overcome the pain of the body? You perform beyond the pain...an indelible snapshot of determination, was said about USA's Jessie Diggins, a skier. 

Another skier who put her signature on February's Olympics was Italy's Fredera Brignone, who broke her leg 10 months before the Olympics and won the gold medal in women's Super G. I saw the replay of Brignone breaking her leg in the spring of 2025, and it hurt my leg just watching. Seeing her seize gold in February was sports magic.

Ninety-two or 93 countries participated in this years winter Olympics and before the games in February I never heard of the county Georgia which is in-between Russia, Turkey and Armenia, and to its west, the Black Sea. Several of their athletes impressed me, especially figure skater Anastaiia Gubanova. I think she placed 14th overall and in my mind she should have been on the podium for a silver or bronze medal, again, I wouldn't want to be a figure skating judge.

Georgia's Anastasia Gubanova after her fantastic Olympic performance. Fourteenth place? She got robbed. 

The perfect mix of technical precision and beauty, figure skating capture's the magic of allure and the passion of precision. 

"So much dimension to their skating, technically they were machines tonight," a judge said. The level of sportsman ship is the best I've ever seen, another one said during the women's Short Skating event. 

Participating in her 23rd winter Olympic's, USA's Lindsey Vonn acquired a silver medal, while the American snow boarder Chloe Kim clinch a spot in the next winter Olympic's by winning her third world title in snowboarding.

Speed skater Jordan Stolz seized the gold in the 500 and 1,000 meter races. Stolz and Eric Heiden are America's only two time gold medalists in speed skating. Stolz also got a silver medal in the 1500 meters race, becoming the only Olympian to win speed skating medals in the 500, 1000 and 1500 meter races in the same years Olympics.  

I watched the entire gold medal game of the USA women and most of the men's game, also against Canada. I'm no hockey fan by any stretch of the imagination, I don't dislike the sport, it's just not for me, but wow, both matches were a blast to watch. 

The USA women, after defeating Canada 2-1 in overtime for the gold medal.

Seven of the last eight gold medal games in women's hockey have been between America and Canada. This year's American team featured 12 new players to the Olympics.

During the entire history of the winter Olympic's the Canadian women's team has only lost four games, including this year's gold medal loss to the Americans. The USA ladies also defeated Canada 5-0 in this year's preliminary round in the Olympics. The American gals have handed Canada all four of their Olympic hockey losses including the 1998 gold medal match. 

Bravo to the women's hockey gold medal team for declining their invitation to visit America's shame. Months after winning the gold medal, Trump launched America into an unjust and unprovoked war. On day one, more than 100 Iranian girls between the ages of 7 and 12-years-old were obliterated by a U.S. Tomahawk missile. 

  

Trump touting "Praise be to Allah. Tuesday will be power plant day and bridge day all wrapped up in Iran. There will be nothing like it. Open the FUCKING straight you crazy bastards or you will be living in hell!!! Just watch! An actual Trump tweet on Easter Sunday. This is not America, but the Olympics are. 

Mark Izzy Schurr

"Ready or Not 2 Here I Come," A Modern Moron Movie Review

 

"Ready or Not 2 Here I Come," is a sensational sequel to its predecessor. 

In the first movie Grace, portrayed by Samara Weaving marries into a family richer than God while running a Satanic cult, to say the least. Upon the marriage, Grace knew nothing of the Satanism in her grooms family. On her wedding night she is the intended prey in a lethal game of Hide and Seek. All the security camera's are turned off and she is given time to hide any where in the massive mansion. A Nineteenth century pistol, a modern one, a hunting shot gun, cross bow and a scythe are some of the weapons used to hunt the newlywed. The reasoning behind this baleful insanity is to preserve their immortal souls for Lucifer himself. If she is not sacrificed before dawn, Beelzebub himself will eradicate the entire families bloodline.  

If you haven't seen either movie I'm not going to reveal vital spoilers, but in the first flick, surprise, she survives until dawn and the Bible's Dark Lord indeed destroys the entire family and its bloodline.   

"Ready or Not 2 Her I Come" begins exactly where the first movie ends. Now there's four families left who want to sacrifice Grace to Satan. This time around Grace's sister inadvertently gets involved. The two sister's must combat a small army of slow witted Satanist eager to murder them. The sequel expands on the story. There are ways for Grace and her sister to survive without violent mayhem, but is it worth it?     

I'm already excited to own this flick on Blue-Ray disc accompanied by the amazing sound of Dolby Atmos. To some this movie might be an over the top silly action flick, but for me, it raised the questions; How evil is big money? Are there supernatural forces? Just movies I know, but the realms of fact and fantasy seem as vast as infinity.  

Four stars easy for "Ready or Not 2 Here I Come." Samara Weaving is simply amazing in both films. When her sister pulls shards of glass from Grace's (Weaving) arm, the wincing and her eyes of agony display Weaving's acting prowse. I felt the pain of Weaving's suppressed screams when a boy blows a hole the size of a silver dollar through the palm of her hand. In too many action / horror flicks, the actors are sub par at best when it comes to displaying such pain. Weaving also showcases her allure and power in Hulu's "Eenie Meanie."

Mark Izzy Schurr