Sunday, April 26, 2020

Modern Moron Movie Review



Sweet Mary Jane, skunkamola, herb, weed, bush, puff, gear, or sticky bush; name marijuana whatever you choose to, but it is a drug that sparks big business, both legally and illegally.



Writer director Guy Ritchie has conjured up another movie masterpiece in his latest film “The Gentlemen” starring Matthew McConaughey. Mickey Pearson portrayed by McConaughey is an American who runs a pot empire in London. 

Mickey is a suave businessman, who along with his colleagues go ‘gansta’ on certain individuals who try and undermine Mickey’s near half a billion-dollar sweet leaf operation.



Currently in London, marijuana is illegal, but so is riding a bicycle at night with no lights, so the law means extraordinarily little, especially to a high-end gangster such as Mickey Pearson who grows and sells 50 tons of the sticky bush.

Mickey is for the most part a true gentleman. A man who resorts to violence only as a last resort. One gangster and his lackeys purposely in-danger the life of Mickey’s beautiful wife, Rosalind, played by Michelle Dockery. This does not sit well with Mickey! The violence in this movie is cinematically succinct and necessary to the storyline.



“The Gentlemen” is a well-crafted movie that is entertaining, even for those who are not privy to gangster flicks.



Mickey is willing to get out of the business, and sell it for the right price, and thus the action begins. Others try and undermine Mickey with muscle or blackmail. 

Fletcher, Hugh Grant is a sneaky photographer who is ready to release pictures to the press of Mikey and some of his crew that would seriously jeopardize everything Mikey has worked for his entire life.


Fletcher is just one of many who threatens the massive Mary Jane empire Mikey has established. A high-level heroin dealer in London is eager seize the skunkamola kingdom as well, and his crew crave the thrill of murder.

“Sweet Mary Jane is my vice of choice. I am addicted to selling it, not consuming it. My poison does not kill anyone, and I like that, while your poison (heroin) the brown powder is a destroyer of worlds,” Mikey said.



Dialogue, intrigue and street justice makes “The Gentlemen” one of the best movies to come along in years. Two very solid thumbs up for this flick.

Mark Izzy Schurr  

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Resurraction of Imagination



A lone entity exiled from the far reaches of the universe. Summoned by the dark toned Goddess Kali. She is adorned in a garland of skulls and wears a belt made of severed heads from her slain enemies.

We must imbibe the blood from the skulls of our massacred foes upon the battlefields of justice in order to dwell in the lush tropics of eternal youth and bliss.



To bask amidst everything that is kind, beautiful and true, we must first taste hell.

Mark Izzy Schurr / ancient Mahabharata texts.

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Modern Moron Movie Review



 “Trapped, the Alex Cooper Story” is based on the true story of a 15-year-old girl being raised by devote Christian parents, so blinded by the balderdash of Christianity, they endanger the life of their own daughter Alex.



Alex, a sophomore in high school falls in love with an 18-year-old woman, and her parents flip out over the fact that their Christian daughter has fallen for a female. Being gay or a lesbian is a one-way ticket to hell according to the Bible.


…gave themselves over to gross sexual immorality and pursued unnatural fleshy desires. They are placed before us as a warning example by undergoing the judicial punishment of everlasting fire. Jude; 7. 


Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. Hebrews 13;18 The Bible is an ancient book of nonsense and full of flaws and unwarranted judgements. 


I learned from this movie that 33 states still allow conversion therapy for minors. Alex, who was living with her Mormon parents in southern California is sent to live in Utah with a family 100 percent unknown to her and her parents. The twisted couple in Utah, also Christians beat and torture Alex simply because she is a lesbian, in an effort to convert her to being straight, Conversion Therapy. 


Conversion Therapy is a sadistic Christian ritual that tortures the children of Christian parents. Alex is forced to wear a backpack full of rocks from morning to night, and only gets a break to eat and use the bathroom. Alex is also beaten with a belt and punched in the stomach by her Mormon Conversion Therapist she is forced to live with. 

When Alex is allowed to visit her parents on Thanksgiving, she pleads with her Mormon (moron) mom to come back home. Alex shows her mom the bruises of her abuses, and her mom cries and tells her daughter that she doesn’t want her to lose her place in heaven. 


“Trapped, the Alex Copper Story is a great family movie with harsh subject matter and illustrates how dangerous Christianity really is. This movie was an eye opener for me and another reason to hate Christianity. Too many Christians embrace evil and they don’t even know it. A solid two thumbs up for this Hulu flick.

Mark Izzy Schurr

Over Due Book Review



“Women are crazy, and men are stupid, and the main reason women are crazy is because men are stupid,” George Carlin said in his third book, “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”

Carlin said men are responsible for 90 percent of the truly horrific things going on in the world, and whether this is the correct percentage or not is irrelevant. His point is made, wars, rape, domestic violence, high fives, and the wave at sporting events!

Carlin was one goofy comic, yet he was also a true philosopher, and one extremely smart individual.  
In his book, “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” Carlin points out a lot of things women must put up with in society, the things most men are oblivious too, including myself, until I read this book.

Women have to look good all the time, or at least they think they do, Carlin said. Upon re-reading this book, I realize the hassles women have to go through in their public appearance.

Going out in public and trying to look good, or at least to be well groomed makes me glad to be a man. Us males get a haircut, or their hair trimmed, be clean shaven or trim their facial hair, put on clean clothes, and presto, men are ready to make an appearance amidst the masses.

Women have the inconveniences of cosmetics, Carlin said in this book. Some examples he includes: Cleansers, toners, foundation, blush, face powder, lip-stick, lip gloss, lip liner, eyeliner, eye shadow, eyebrow pencil, mascara, nail polish, nail polish remover, manicures, pedicures and that’s just some of the things women have to deal with in the world of public appearances!

I condensed the more than five-page poem immensely that starts off this book.

I’m a high-tech low life. A man for the millennium. Politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. 
I’ve been up linked and downloaded, inputted and outsourced. I’m a new wave, but old school and my inner child is outward-bound. 
A hands-on knee-jerk head case and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. 
My output is down, but my income is up. I’m hanging in there and hanging tough. 
                                                                                                      George Carlin

I laughed and admired how George Carlin whittled the 10 Commandments down to three. I won’t rehash word for word how he did it, but here’s Carlin’s revision of the 10 Commandments from his book “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”

“About 5 thousand years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to figure out how they could control people and keep them in line,” George Carlin said.

The religious and political hustlers said God, Him personally gave them, or Moses a list of 10 commandments that God wanted everyone to follow. 

When these guys were sitting around in their tents and making this stuff up, why the number 10? I’ll tell you why Carlin said, because 10 sounds import, it’s a psychologically satisfying number. If these religious and political hustlers had said the 11 commandments, the people would not have taken the 10 commandments seriously.

“The 11 commandments? Get the fuck out of here!" The people would have said.    

Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it’s a decade; the top 10, the 10 most wanted, the 10-best dressed, so clearly the number 10 was a marketing decision.

Right off the bat, Carlin challenges the first three of the 10 commandments.  

     I am the lord thy God. Thou shall not have false / strange Gods before me.
    Thou shall not take the name of the lord in vain.
       Thou shall keep holy the Sabbath

The first three commandments’ pure bull shit! Carlin said. Strange gods? Sabbath day? Lords name? Spooky language. This superstitious mumbo jumbo does not apply to the lives of today’s intelligent and civilized people of the 21rst century. So right off the bat, there’s 7 commandments Carlin said.

Another of the 10 commandments; “Honor thy father and mother”. Carlin said this commandment is about respect and obedience, a simple device for controlling people. Respect and obedience should not be automatic, it should be earned. Some parents deserve respect, some don’t, so now we have the 6 commandments.

The two commandments, “Thou shall not steal” and “Thou shall not bear false witness” prohibit the same types of behavior, so hence these two commandments could be combined. False witness is about lying, so hence, stealing and lying could be formed into one commandment.
            
“Thou shall not be dishonest.”

Carlin has narrowed the 10 commandments down to 5 now. Another two commandments that Carlin said could be combined include these two commandments; “Thou shall not commit adultery” and “Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”

I think marital fidelity is a good idea, but I don’t believe fantasizing about another man’s wife while flogging your dong is wrong! Carlin said. Combine these two commandments, because these two commandments also prohibit the same kind of behavior.

“Thou shall not be unfaithful.”

Now Carlin has narrowed it to the 4 commandments.

“Thou shall not covet thy neighbors” goods.” This commandment is just plain fucking stupid Carlin said. Coveting the neighbor’s goods is what keeps the economy going, your neighbor has a dildo that plays “Come All Ye Faithful,” you want to get one too! Coveting creates jobs, leave it alone.

Carlin’s humor is too crass and vulgar for some, but I personally think he was hilarious and a genius.  
The 5th commandment: “Thou shall not kill.” When you really think about it, religion has never had a problem with murder Carlin said. More people have been killed in the name of God, then for any other reason. Irish history, the Middle East, the Crusades, the Inquisition, America’s anti-abortion-doctor killings, and the World Trade Center. For the truly devote religious folks, murder is negotiable, it just depends on who’s doing the killing and whose getting killed.

Carlin’s revised list of the 10 commandments down to the three commandments.

1)      “Thou shall always be honest and faithful, especially to the provider of thy nookie.
2)      “Thou shall try really hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible avenger than the one you pray to.
3)      “Thou shall keep thy religion to thyself!”

The Continuing Story of Mary and Joseph: It’s a Boy”
                                                            JOE
                        Who says you’re pregnant?
                                                            MARY
                        An angel appeared to me in the backyard and said so.
                                                            JOE
                        An angel?
                                                            MARY
An angel of God, his name was Gabriel. He had a trumpeter and I think he was wearing a raincoat; I don’t really know; he was glowing so brightly. Gabriel said that God wanted me to have his baby.
                                    JOE
Did you ask for some sort of sign?
                                    MARY
Of course, I did. Gabriel said I’d start getting sick in the morning.
                                    JOE
Why does God want a child?
                                    MARY
Gabriel said he wants humans to get involved and doesn’t want to make humans out of clay or dust. Gabriel also said the kid will be a real winner, a public speaker and good with miracles.

                                     JOE
Is God going to help in raising the kid? We can’t do it alone, I need a bigger shop, maybe God could throw a couple of those crucifix contracts my way, the Romans are nailing up everything that walks. Mary, now that your pregnant, I can start putting it inside you now.
                                    MARY
I’m sorry honey, but God wants this to be strictly a virgin birth.
                                    JOE
What do I get out of all this?
                                    MARY
You get to name the child.
                                    JOE
Jesus Christ!                                                              
                                                                   George Carlin

“Brain Droppings” and “Napalm and Silly Putty” are two more books by George Carlin I recommend people read. His books, like his comedy albums, feature films and more than 12 HBO comedy specials he wrote and performed in are works of wisdom, folly and profound enlightenment. The world is indeed a lesser place without him.

Mark Izzy Schurr