Shrouded in doubt and caught in an onslaught of wondrous despair, left to ponder why for the rest of my life.
Death can claim anyone at anytime, but it cannot wash away marvelous memories of laughter and love. Currently, we the living know not for sure where Alondra dwells, be it the garden of Allah, the Viking Valhalla, or the many other places and names for paradise. I personally hope Alondra is in Hindu heaven, my mom and dad as well.
There will be eating and drinking of heavenly food and drink, reunion with father, mother, sons & daughters...delights of love, eternal light, cooling breezes, swift refreshing waters...music, honey and wine. There will be no rich nor poor, neither powerful or oppressed, no sickness, old age or deformity of any kind. The joys of the blest (Alondra) will be a hundred times greater than the highest bliss on Earth. So much is allotted to the righteous dead. AV, 4,34-5-6, the book of Hinduism.
Ali, for all intensive purposes was my step daughter from the time she was about 3 and a half-years-old -years till she was six. I remember the day like it was yesterday when Ali, her neighbor Randi and Randi's younger sister Michaela were with me at the apartment swimming pool early one Saturday afternoon. One of the neighbors asked the girls to quiet down. Really? At 1 p.m., maybe 2 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon, your asking three adorable preschool aged children to play quietly at the pool on a glorious summer day? Petty stuff indeed.
Alondra's friends Randi and Michaela with their brother Nathan
Dozens of times over an entire summer I was blessed to witness little Ali Bear and her two next door pals laughing and having fun at the tenant swimming pool while listening to Oakland Athletics game on my little blue AM sports radio. Just added to my bucket list, a video camera rolling as me and several little girls are in front of the camera and doing nothing but laughing hysterically.
From the years 2000-2004 I was a preschool teacher at the YWCA preschool, A Special Place. Three months before Ali was 3-years-old, she joined our school. Before she turned 4-years-old she was one of eight children in my group of kids; 'The Brown Bears.' Her smile back then was just as infectious from the above photos. Those four years changed my life forever with an indelible sense of innocence, love, laughter and sorrow.
One specific moment from working at A Children's Place has embedded itself in my memory bank. During free play outside, Ali was one of the children seated in the large sand pit with several other children. I was kicking a soccer ball straight up in the air as high as I could and catching it, or at least trying to. One of my kicks was way out of range of catching the ball, but still very high in the air. The soccer ball hit Ali square on the top of the head.
Instead of tears and maybe a bruise on the head, which I expected, she just turned around mildly surprised as if someone had gently tapped her on the shoulder. When I apologized to her, she nonchalantly smiled and continued to play with the other children.
Taking Ali and her friend's to the swimming pool at the then apartment complex was always a joy. Laughing preschool eyes and joyous shouts of gratification as she and her friend's constantly got out of the pool to jump back in again always put a smile on my face.
I dated Ali's mother Debby for about a year and half, thus I got to spent a lot of time with Ali. From the time Ali was 3-6-years-old I was a regular in her life. To this day, Debby and I are still friends. I helped Debby and her husband move to Nevada. I just wish I would have visited Debby and Joe a lot more than I did. When Ali was 12-years-old I spent about a month at Debby and Joe's house.
While at Debby and Joe's during that time, I reminded myself as "The Thing That Wouldn't Leave," a 70s Saturday Night Live skit in which John Belushi, portrayed a single man at a married couples house who refused to take a hint and over stayed his welcome.
Debby and Joe seemed to tolerate my presence very well, even capitalizing on it by taking a couple weekend trips to Reno, Nev. leaving me with the kids. Debby's son William was in high school at the time, so he required little if any supervision. Ali and I spent lots of nights watching kid movies including "Matilda," "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", the Harry Potter movies, and several other young adult flicks.
The most fun I had with Ali at that time was letting her drive Irene, (my green Saturn Vue) in the desert of Fernley, Nev. She was a great driver for any age, let alone being a 12-year-old. Obviously Joe must have taken her out on a lot of drives himself.
Ali gave me one good scare when she got to the top of a steep hill and she had to make a Y-turn because the path was too narrow for a U-turn. As Ali was making the Y-turn, she started to panic and said where going to go off the edge, and I thought the same for a brief moment. Inside I was panicked, but outwardly I was calm and told her to brake, (she did) and put the car in reverse. With my sagacious coaching, she made an excellent Y-turn which had little room for error. An error may have sent us both off the steep hill.
Initially when I drove off with Ali and the family dog, Debby gave strict orders to not allow Alondra to drive. Ali told on herself when we got back, and Debby gave me an ear full, and I assured Debby that Ali drove great. Debby said Ali scares her when she drives.
"Mark doesn't freak out and yell at me like you do mom when I'm driving," Alondra said to her mom.
My life is a lot emptier with Alondra's untimely death on this day in 2014. The passing of my father, also on January 7, but in 2013 also shrouded my soul with gloom and tears, but with his death it was easier to embrace life again. My dad was 90-years-old and the night he died, he was in his bed surrounded by most of his children, grandchildren, two of his great grand children and some very loving in laws.
I can't even phantom what Debby is going through. My life is empty right now because of the few years I got to laugh with Ali. Now and forever just as the loss of my parents, Ali's absence without return has thrust an emptiness in my heart that will never return. Alondra's departure from Earth is a lot more painful to me than the absence of my parents. My parents got the full taste of life on this planet, they loved both emotionally and physically, they got to see at least some or their great grandchildren becoming adults.
The 7th of this month will always be dark for me, yet seeds of laughter via memories put a smile toward the tears, missing you Ali...
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