Friday, June 28, 2013

My bio with an introduction by Heeiz Shure


Forward by Heeiz Shure:

By the age of three, Mark Schurr had written more than two dozen novels. By the time he was 12-years-old several of his books were adapted into screen plays including “Jaws,” “The Graduate,” “Cool Hand Luke” and “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.”

 
Schurr’s fascination for the written word spawning into books, songs, poetry and movies is just one aspect of his sagacious genius. Schurr can literally do anything he desires except talk to pretty women, play a musical instrument or sing. 

 
Schurr wrote the music and lyrics to more than 50 Beatle songs by the time he was four including the songs “Something,” Because,” “A Day in the Life,” “Revolution” and “Help.”

 
Unfortunately for Schurr, he knew absolutely nothing about copy rights at such a young age. The business predators of the world consumed all the credit and raked in all the money.

 
Schurr is indeed a blessing to the world and perhaps the universe. Legend has it that the human race still exists solely because of Schurr.  

 
When he leaves Earth permanently with no spawns the planet will indeed be lesser place.

If I live to be a 1000-years-old, I’ll never meet anyone as unique and perplexing as Mark Schurr. I’m extremely lucky to have known and talked to him.

 
Heeiz Shure;

Ghost writer for Stephen King, Anne Rice, John Grisham and countless other authors and journalists.
 
Me, by Mark (Izzy) Schurr

 
A ninth grade classmate, Tom Boriolo wrote the following in my year book; ‘Mark, I’ve heard the word unique before, but you’re a true definition of the word.’

 
My existence is somber except when I have to transform into star vapors and sashay across the infinite universe to stop meteors as large as mountains that are directed toward Earth by the sadistic Baleful Ben.

 
Ben won’t be happy until everyone in the universe is dead, and then I think he’ll kill himself if he manages to destroy all life. Ben resides on the dark side of the galaxy in the farthest reaches of cold space. He can’t kill me because I’m much too fast and sly for him and vice versa.

 
Because of Ben I am perpetually alone. Ben has nearly killed the few girlfriends I’ve had; it’s his way to get to me.  Presently, Ben and I are the only cosmic beings I know exist.  

 
The small amount of lady friends who were gracious enough to dabble in romantic endeavors with me soon needed a more successful, communicative and better lover.  I’m the type of person who would thrive alone on an island abundant with warmth, food, water, shelter, the internet and books.

 
The eight plus years working as a preschool teacher illustrated to me what a horrible parent I’d be. Children don’t listen to a word I say, hence I couldn’t teach, or parent.

The few relationships I’ve had with women have shown me what a lousy husband I’d be.

 
When I’m not hurling across outer space in my cosmic form, I really enjoy working with young children once a week at the YMCA in Santa Rosa as a volunteer.  I also enjoy writing poetry, photography, doing journalism for my blog site, driving Irene (my Saturn Vue), while blaring music, riding my bike and laughing with friends and family.

 
“Too weird to live, too unique to die,” a line from the movie “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” is a simple way to describe myself.  

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