Reflection

Dreams to forget, dreams to achieve. Reality frequently blurring our focus. Knowledge over powers laughter, laughter dances on knowledge, it dances with wisdom, it dances with foolishness. Playing with our poisons and laughing with our friends while flies still cloud hungry children's eyes in the desert.

Which generation will destroy the last of civilization? Ticking traps shroud my true passions into the abyss of work and insecurity. Ticking traps refer to the time-clocks of work. A meaningful career and visions of ultimate success have diminished into the acceptance of being nothing more than a nine digit number used for tax and identification purposes.

Happiness is embracing my individuality and having family and real friends. Getting old is awesome. My dad said dying young is worse than getting old. As I get old things that used to concern, bother or flat out piss me off are nothing more than laughing matters. Road rage is a thing of the past for example. Being smitten over a beautiful women who is nice to me is another ancient emotion.

I used to drink to the point of blacking out, puking or passing out to combat the feeling of never being with a woman who'd bear my children, or love me back. Having worked with preschool aged children professionally for more than six years has solidified to me that I'd have been a horrible parent. If I had children, they would have been insatiable brats.



As for perpetually being alone, I've embrace it. The few and I emphasize few women I've had in my life were never ones that I truly wanted to be with and I'm 100 percent positive the feeling is mutual.

Every relationship I've had with women, the extremely few, was just me going through the motions, and succumbing to what our society dictates how we're all supposed to live. Everyone in my age group for example should be married with grown children, divorced with off-spring or be with their gay lover. Word around the campfire states that 50 percent of U.S. marriages end in divorce, maybe because couples marry for money, peer pressure and seldom for love.

If your not successful, such as myself, living by yourself is unaffordable unless you have a wife, girl friend or room-dog to go halves on the rent / mortgage payment. Personally, I'm lucky enough to have family for affordable rent and my own space; life is good.



As wonderful as my immediate family and real friends are, I could be very happy alone on an Hawaiian island abundant with food, water, Wi-Fi, the Internet and a countless supply of books.

"If I could live forever in a 25-year-old body, an endless healthy mind engulfed in a world where everyone has what they desire, (aside from the macabre) and a land without wars, crime, death, leaders, followers or money, I'd be extremely content," I said.