"Apes And Monkeys," A Modern Moron Book Review

 

If you have read this book, you'd know approximately how many species of monkeys there are and the exact number of of apes, chimpanzees, gibbons, the smallest of apes, orangutans and the largest of the apes, the gorilla which is bigger than the largest monkey, the baboon. The monkey family has approximately 130 different species.  

Apes, monkeys and people are primates. Humans, like the apes and monkeys have thumbs large brains and eyes positioned on the front of our heads and we all have social lives.

   

This book has details on the endangered species of various types of the 130 or so different breeds of monkeys and the people working to save these amazing creatures. 

Some types of monkeys make various types of footwear to protect their feet from thorns and other hazards of the jungle and wooded areas of Africa and parts of Asia. 

This book was written by John Grassy. He acquired his facts from Colleen M. McCann, PhD Wildlife Conservation Society. 

This 1997 book is great for readers of all ages, and the pictures are fantastic, four and a half stars easy for this book. 

Mark Izzy Schurr

"Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess," A Modern Moron Book Review

 

A Little Libraires gem, "Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess," and if you read this book, you'll learn advanced strategies, or at least know what an interposition move is, and which is the best one to use in various sceneries. 

Personally, I rummage through the book, and set up my chess pieces from various games laden throughout the book and play myself. 

This book is for those who don't know a single thing about chess and for those who play in tournaments, and as stated in the book, you'll learn how to play winning chess, but not as good as Bobby Fischer.

"Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess" tells the reader how to mate in some situations but in most cases he doesn't, he makes the reader think for themselves. Most of the time, Fisher has lay-outs from real championship games and other situations and simply poses the question; can white mate? Can black mate? What's the first move for white or black to begin the mating process. Can white / black mate in one move in this set-up? 

Fischer won his first United States Chess Championship when he was 14-years-old, and after winning that game in 1957, known as The Game of the Century, he went on to win or draw every single match he was in for the next four years.

Four and a half stars easy for this Little Libraies gem.

Mark Izzy Schurr 

 

  

"Drive-In Dream Girls..." A Modern Moron Book Review

 

"Clara Bow Running Wild," A Modern Moron Book Review

Once upon a time mainstream movies were silent and its mega stars included Charlie Chaplin and Mary Pickford, when sexuality in film was nonexistent for all intensive purposes. (Picture on the left of the book is also of Bow, who many say inspired the creation of the iconic Betty Boop in 1930.)

 Hollywood's B.C. films lacked the jubilant sexiness of youth, these were the years Before Clara. Bravo to David Stenn for B.C.ing Bow, blasphemous or not. Clara brought sex to American cinema in the early 1920s. 

Bow was born on July 29, 1905. Her movie idol was Mary Pickford and very soon in her life, she aspired to be a movie star. Winning the Fame and Fortune Contest at 16 ignited the flames of her explosive career, riddled with praise and harsh accusations about her personal life. Before she was 18, she appeared in her first movie in 1922, and by 1927, she was Hollywood's "It" girl who also starred in that years movie "It," written by Elinor Glyn.

"It," the quality possessed by some which draws all others with its magnetic force. With "It" you win all men if you are a woman-and all women if you are a man. "It' can be a quality of the mind as well as a physical attraction, Elinor Glyn said. 

Having read "Clara Bow Running Wild," I now want to read the 1907 book, "Three Weeks," by Glyn. It's an erotic romance empowering women. 

"Clara Bow Running Wild" is the reason I've seen 13 of Bow's silent films and five of her sound Pre-Code movies. I've watched 11 of the 13 silents multiple times, their solid stories, complete with today's lurid and lascivious storylines. Not nearly as blatant and and graphic as today's flicks, but it's all implied and complete with crime, violence, boozing, drugging, fornication and murder. 

The crazed  mixture of vices amid the human spirit were showcased in the nearly five dozen flicks Bow starred or appeared in. Clara Bow depicted female promiscuity with aplomb and humor. Bow was clever, sly, and delightfully devious on the big screen and officially deemed the "It" girl by Elinor Glyn. 

Bow was a pioneering actress who infuriated some and infatuated many. I've lost count of how many times I've watched "True to the Navy," and "Call Her Savage," Pre-Code gems. 

"She naturally walks away with every scene she's in, she's marvelous, she has everything," Gary Cooper said.    

If you want to know what Clara Bow said about Cooper's baby maker, read the book. 

"...Running Wild" details her bedroom antics in her own words and those of others without being pornographic. Incidentally, her sex life is a blip of the many things this book covers. 

"If you can't be good, be careful", Bow said. 

The 1928 movie "Three Week Ends," based on the book, "Three Weeks" was basically a disaster. Not because of Bow. She lights everyone up with her mere presence. She approached her role with gusto and professionalism in "Three Week Ends," but she could not cover for a plot that was as skimpy as her wardrobe, she said. 

In 1925, Bow made 16 feature films. "I'm jest a woikin goil," Bow said in her native Brooklyn tongue. 

Bow is chunky and spunky as a boxer in 1928s "Rough House Rosie," another missing movie. 

As of 1985, all of her 1928 movies are nowhere to be found. To this day missing silent films are found in attacks, salt mines and mis labeled studio vaults. "Three Week Ends" and "Rough House Rosie," are still MIA, along with two dozen more of her features. For nearly 12 years Bow starred or appeared in 56 feature films, 11 were sound movies. 

The least Hollywood could do is remaster her silents such as "Hula," "The Plastic Age," "Black Oxen," "Capital Punishment," and all five of the sound films I own including "True to the Navy," and "Call Her Savage." 

I must admit, the remastered silents of 1927s "It," "Wings," and my Blue-Ray of "Children of Divorce," are amazing. Surprisingly, "Children of Divorce" was subpar at the box office upon its original release, despite the presence of Gary Cooper and Clara bow. It's a four star flick for me.

When this book was originally released, there were no prints of 1930s, "True to the Navy." This is now one of the 18 DVDs features I have of hers. "True to the Navy" is a Pre-Code Hollywood film. She has multiple boyfriends in the film, very risque for it's time. 

When she was dating Gary Cooper in real life, she had six other boy friends including her then future husband Rex Bell who was one of the sailors in "True to the Navy." Bell knew about her wild antics, and his lack of jealously impressed her. The two married in 1931 and remained together until the mid 1940s. They spawned two sons. They remained close until his death in 1962. 

Bow sings very well in "True to the Navy." She had no training in music and she nailed the one and only song in the movie. She truly was a natural in front of the camera. 

1927 was her glory year, not only did she star in the box office sensation It.," she also co-starred in Hollywood's first film to win the academy award, "Wings." 

Clara Bow in the first best picture of the year, 1927s "Wings" 

She was the female equivalent of Charlie Sheen off the set, boozing, drugging and sexing. She was briefly committed to a mental facility in 1931 and fans and Hollywood movie mongrels were starting to black ball her. She rebounded extremely well in 1932s "Call Her Savage" despite harsh accusations of Bow participating in beastiality with dogs. Accusers point to the one scene in "Call Her Savage" in which she's affectionate with her pet dog. I own the movie, nothing what so ever to indicate animal perversion. 

She made her last movie in 1933s "Hoopla." She retired when she was 28-years-old. She immediately left Hollywood and moved to a Nevada ranch with her hubby Bell. Years before she made her last film, she felt alone and disliked the Hollywood scene. Movies no longer fascinated her and she preferred the company of children over adults. In the 1950s, she was reading several dozen books a month. Like her mother, she was a diagnosed schizophrenic and committed twice to mental facilities. The second time she was committed was in the 1950s, a mental wellness facility in Harford Connecticut for a few months.   

Her mother once put a butchers knife to her daughters throat and threatened to kill her. Her dad was an abuser of alcohol and women. He raped Clara when she was 16. Growing up, she lived in the slums of Brooklyn hiding from abusive Johns her mother brought home before she was 5-years-old. 

When she was only nine she lost her best friend Johnny in a fire. Johnny lived in the same building as her when the structure caught on fire. While Johnny was burning, Bow tried to save him by wrapping a throw rug around him. 

 The one bright spot during her childhood was her grandfather who died in front of her before her 6th birthday.   

"It's easy to cry on cue, all I have to do is think of home,"Bow said.

Movie directors have attested to this quote. The doctor who treated her for mental illness in the 1950s said her life should be told by a master of fiction and not a humble doctor such as himself. 

Mark Izzy Schurr

"Democracy or Else," A Modern Moron Book Review

 

"Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried," Winston Churchill said.  

The three writers and hosts of "Pod Save America" are not Trump supporters by any means, nor do they praise the democrat party, they present common facts with very minimal bashing of the MAGA cult.  

This is a very worthy read for anyone whose into politics, left or right, or in my case, foward, as in the Foward Party. This book really illustrates the importance of voting, no matter how futile all winning candidates seem to be. Political god Andrew Yang said if all eligible voters exercised their rights, there would be a lot of positive change in the government. The 2020 election had record turn-outs in America's history, and yet only 67 percent of the registered voters cast their ballots. 

Currently less than 30 percent of Americans believe in the presidency and eight percent of Americans believe in congress. This book has extensive and understandable details in becoming a politician yourself. I myself have as much political experience as many elected officials. Page 144 clearly states," If you've read this far you have as much political experience...

If you think your vote doesn't matter, think again. In 2000, Bush won the state of Florida by 537 votes, only one sentence in the entire book about that years so called rigged election. When JFK defeated Nixon in the 1960 election, he only won the popular vote by a 120,000. This book didn't mention that John Fetterman won his first mayoral primary in Braddock, Pennsylvania by a single vote in 2005. The 2020 election was finalized by three states which Joe Biden won by a combined 43,000 votes, so yes, your vote matters. 

This book details how to become involved in local and national politics. It's very easy to become a member of Congress for example. Fund raising is the key. Anyone whose insanely wealthy can waltz into the political spectrum and if your not rich, you just need to smooze the right people or get millions of Americans to send you money. Anyone whose extroverted and passionate about politics can become a senator, mayor, whatever, even president. This book has the vital and valid details you need. 

"Our broken political system depends too much on fund raising," one or all three authors of this book said. 

A four star politcal read. 

Mark Izzy Schurr

 

"Ice Cream Blonde," A Modern Book Review

 

Thelma Todd was an iconic beauty and brains actress from the vintage era of the movies and "Ice Cream Blonde" details her life and controversial death with sagacious detail. 

Born in 1906, dead before 1936, Thelma Todd spoke several different languages, including Russian and Spanish. She negotiated her own film contracts and was a student teacher and Miss Massachusetts years before Hollywood Filmograph called her an outstanding example of the new school of women evolved in motion pictures.  

Thelma Todd wasn't the punch line for dumb blonde jokes. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. I myself can't make Cool Aid. How do you get two quarts of water into those tiny packets?    

Thelma Todd began her movie career in the silent era of the movies and by the early 1930s, she was an established actress. The 21 two-reelers she did with Patsy Kelly, she played the one with common sense, while Kelly, the plain looking brunette was the goofball frequently getting the two into jams and marvelous mayhems. (Thirty-five millimeter film runs 10 minutes on one reel, hence 20 minute short films were known as two-reelers.) Her first two-reeler was with Laurel and Hardy in 1929s "Unaccustomed As We Are," and she rocked the black slip! 

Thelma Todd, shortly before arriving in Hollywood in the 1920s. This book has eight pages of photos, this is my favorite. 

In 1932s "This is the Night," Todd portrays an adulterous woman in this clever comedy, Cary Grant's first movie incidentally. This Pre-Code film put humor in adultery and praised the wanderlust of youth while summoning laughter to the heart.

Cary Grant & Thelma Todd in "This is the Night."

"Ice Cream Blonde" inspirational dvd's added to my collection. 

Michelle Morgan spent five years on research alone for this 2016 book and it's a five star read easy. Morgan details her life from childhood, including the tragic death of her brother when he was only 6-years-old. "Ice Cream Blonde" reveals the business and pleasure's of her personal and Hollywood life, including her sudden horrible death. 

Her death was ruled a suicide, and the legal arguments in the courts made an OK case for this, but like her mother Alice, I believe she was murdered and this book has compelling facts to back her claim. 

Upon her death in December, days before Christmas of 1935, legal arguments in court pointed to accidental death, suicide or murder. Writer Michelle Morgan doesn't reveal her personal opinions on Todd's death. She presents the facts and speculations for all three possible causes of Todd's death, and allows the reader to form their own thoughts on this horrid matter.

Todd ran the Cafe Trocadero, aka the Troc in southern California. This book suggests Al Capone and Lucky Luciano may have been involved in her sudden death. Whether they were or not, one thing is certain, real life gangsters wanted an illegal gambling ring in her club the Troc, and Todd stood up to the mobsters and wouldn't allow illicit casino activities in her club. 

As of 2015, the Troc still exists and is called the Sidewalk Cafe. The glass doors Todd used herself were still attached to the building.

Bravo to author Michelle Morgan for writing this amazing book. 

Mark Izzy Schurr

  

 

"Spinal Tap II The End Continues", A Modern Moron Movie Review

 

It's hard to have a memorial for someone whose still alive David St. Hubbins, aka Micheal Mckean said. 

After more than 40 years the main three writers, artist and actors, Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer and Mckean return as the core of "Spinal Tap," along with the bands rockumentary commentator Rob Reiner.  

The bands new drummer Valerie Franco is Didi Crockett, the Tap's first female drummer, and she rocked the drums, she's a true musician. Does she survive, given the history of Spinal Tap drummers? I've seen the movie, and I'm still uncertain.  

The clever goofiness reigns on, I laughed and I'm still laughing about the Holdy award and Tap Water. The Holdy is an award given to song writers whose music is played while people are on hold.

Spinal Tap and their guest performers rose to the occasion of music. Sir Paul McCartney and Elton John  fit the Tap with aplomb as guest musicians. The humor was wry and sly, and full of jabs on the business end of the music industry.

"Spinal Tap II The End Continues," like its 1984 predecessor "Spinal Tap" showcases the musical talent of the writers and preformers while also making fun of themselves. Four stars easy for the sequel.   

  

Mark Izzy Schurr

"Pre-Code Hollywood..." A Modern Moron Book Review

 

Vice drench films of the Pre-Code era showcased the complete spectrum of depravity, excessive boozing druging, picturesque violence, and sexual liaisons. (Thomas Doherty)

Sound on film became mainstream in 1930, the same year Pre-Code began. The exquisite four year era of these flicks ignored the Christian critique of the times and mainstreamed crime with Tommy Gun totin' hoodlums making wads of cash in the era of bootleggers, babes and bullets. The eloquence of Thomas Doherty is griping and incisive. I've watched many of these movies because of him.  The second I heard Joan Blondell say she was APO, Ain't Putn' Out in 1931s "Other Men's Women," I've been impressed with Doherty's taste in vintage cinema. 

Today's movies are far more gratuitous obviously, yet the Pre-Code films from March 1930-July-1934 had all the elements of today's movies. The sex was implied, not shown, as was the violence. In 1931s "Public Enemy," James Cagney, brandishing a pistol is standing behind a man playing the piano. The scene then shows his friend in the same room look over in shock as the audience hears a gun shot. Cagney causally walks away from the man he just killed and tells his friend to have the girls meet them for dinner. "Public Enemy" inspired Martin Scorsese he said on a documentary.   

 

Anti-war movies presented World War I as a horrific farce and medals meaningless. Anyone who reads and thinks knows wars are bullshit and the Pre-Code writers got flack from the government and other people who buy into the lies of wars and what the government tells us. "All Quiet On the Western Front," a 1930 film depicting the stupid politics of war and how rich world leaders dupe their nations young into hating people they don't even know and send other people's children to die in vain.

I didn't expect this book to be political, yet the elements covering this sordid subject illustrated the current fiasco and shame of the Republican party nearly a 100 years ago. Even in the early 1930s, Hollywood flicks took their jabs at the Republicans. 

"The Hobo's Psalm"

Hoover is my Shepard, I shall not want

He maketh me to lie down on park benches

He leadeth me beside the still factories

He arouseth my doubt in the Republican Party

He leadeth me in the path of Destruction

For his party's sake I fear evil, for thou art with me. 

In 1933s "Heroes For Sale," economic institutions, politicians and all other figures of authority are depicted as unjust, corrupt and unfeeling. Movies have always been an opiate to the senses, and I'm impressed how many of these films empowered women. In 1931s "Big Business Girl," Loretta Young portrays a college graduate in business and moves to New York to seek out a job in her field to pay off her $2,000 student debt. In 1932s "Miss Pinkerton" Joan Blondell portrayed a nurse helping a detective solve a murder case. In 1933 Fay Wray was Ann Carver, a lawyer in "Ann Carver's Profession."   

 

Jean Harlow as Lil, flirting with her married boss in 1932s "Red-Headed Woman"

The above picture is a scene from "Red-Headed Woman" in which Lil, Jean Harlow flirts with her married boss and gets between the sheets with him. Lil is a woman who moves up the economic ladder via horizontal means. Lil plays several wealthy men in this movie, and in the end she marries a very rich and much older man, and it's obvious she's doing "The dance with no underpants" with his young good looking chauffer. Her quote unquote sins go unpunished, and even rewarded. If this movie was made in 1935, she would have had to have something bad happen to her by the ending of the movie.

Joan Blondell in 1934s "Dames" 

A year later, this much skin was forbidden to be shown in the movies, and even Betty Boop, the iconic cartoon character could not be shown in her garter belt after 1934.

This 1999 book details the insane rules movie writers had to go through because of urging priests and politicians who got Biblical with written rules; Thou shall not photograph girls in scenes which femmes pull up their skirts to show a lengthy display of legs and the unfasting of garters. The motion picture industry of America started following these ludicrous guidelines in August of 1934 and it wasn't until the 1950s when Hollywood started to wake up again. The current rating system used in the movies today began in 1968.

  

The beffy of information Thomas Doherty sets forth in "Pre-Code Hollywood Sex, immorality and insurrection in American Cinema 1930-1934," is amazing. I've simple scratch the surface of information laden throughout this four star read. 

Mark Izzy Schurr

  

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"Dealing With Dragons," A Modern Moron Book Review

Book one of the Enchanted Forest Chornicles" is laden with female wisdom and poise, Cimorene is adept at fencing, magic, dancing, economics, juggling and cooking, she's not ready to marry while only 16.

The enchanted frog who talks doesn't like the prince she's supposed to marry because he used to skip rocks into his living room. The enchanted frog doesn't have the hots for Cimorene, he's just a chill frog with smarts and Cimorene likes talking to him, he knows a lot about the Enchanted Forest.

Prince Therandil is far from estatic about marrying Cimorene, but he's willing to abide by silly ancient tradations. Cimorene is determined not to marry and she journeys away from her kingdom to live with dragons. 

If you know how to make cherries jubilee and read latan scrolls to dragons, your safe from being eaten by them. Cimorene proves this in "Dealing With Dragons." 

Cimorene decides to journy to the Enchanted Forest where many people have been turned into flowers, rocks or trees, and much worse. Giants, ogres and trolls have carried people away. Cimorene herself is attacted by a giant white bird who wants to feed her to its babies. 

Magic, wizards, ancient fairy tale lore, and many dragons, devious and delightful made "Dealing With  Dragons" a solid four star read. This 2015 book is the first of four in the "Enchanted Forest Chronicles" by Patricia C. Wrede and I will be reading the other three books in this series. 

Mark Izzy Schurr 

  

 

"Weapons," A Modern Moron Movie Review

 

Witch craft, alcoholism, adultery and the dissapearance of 17 classmates in a single elementary school classroom set the tone for "Weapons." 

Seventeen students go missing on the same night in Julia Garner's classroom. Garner is the prime suspect responsible for the children's disappearance in Josh Brolin's eyes. Brolin portrays the father of one of the boys gone missing in the classroom. The students all ran out of their homes at 2:00 a.m. This is known because home security cameras from many of the parents, including Brolin show the children leaving their homes by themselfs, and running off into the darkness.  

One student remains in Garner's classroom, and he has no answers for the police or parents, and there's no clear evidence Garner is the one responsible. 

Who is the witch in the town? Is there dark magic? This flick is more dialogue then action, and it worked for me, despite it's bizarre realm into witchcraft.  It's a three star flick that's more of a video than a big screen watch. 

Mark Izzy Schurr  

"The Conjuring: Last Rites, Another Modern Moron Movie Review

Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga return as Ed and Lorraine Warren, the real life paranormal investigators in the 9th instalment of the Conjuring flicks. 

Whether or not you believe in the paranormal, this movie has some creepy and disdurbing scenes. A black framed mirror is the conduit allowing evil entities into the realms of our world in "The Conjuring: Last Rites." 

The Warren's are forced out of retirement to help a family in Pennsylvania being viciously tormented by demonic spirits. These evil spirits also seize control of the Warren's teenage daughter Judy, portrayed by Mia Tomlinson, and the story really starts rolling.   

The crazied looking Annabelle doll makes her appearance too, and as usual she gets in your head and doesn't leave. 

If I live to be a 1,000-years-old, I'll be extremely content to never awake to the sounds of a rocking chair occupied by the demon doll Annabelle with those devious eyes looking right into my soul.  

 

Three and a half stars easy for "The Conjuring; Last Rites."

Mark Izzy Schurr

"Fantastic Four: First Steps," A Modern Moron Movie Review

Fantasy from "The Fantastic Four: First Steps" tinges on the tales of the Silver Surfer, and the chaos of the cosmos brings Galactus to Earth, the devourer of worlds, a being as old as time itself who feeds on entire planets. 

Straying from the Silver Surfer comics, Shalla-Bal and not the Silver Surfer is herald to Galactus, the one who finds him planets to destroy. She does this in order to save her own planet Zenn-La. She was the Silver Surfer's first love, and both are from Zenn-La. 

The power cosmic is as vast as space and timeless as infinity. Extensive knowledge of the Fantastic Four stories and those of my favorite, the Silver Surfer are not needed to follow the story of "The Fantastic Four: First Steps", yet a small dose of the history of Galactus and the Fantastic Four certainly comes in handy for viewers of this flick. 

The movie reveals how the four astronauts acquired super natural powers and became the Fantastic Four. The writers vastly upgraded the adventures of the vintage Fantastic Four comic books and screen-played this sometimes sappy movie with clever humor and serious conflict. Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Woman spawn a child, and Galactus offers to spare the Earth if they give up their child. They decide not to give up their son to Galactus and attempt to keep our bless-ed planet alive. 

Compared to Galactus, everyone, including the Fantastic Four are like mere ants trying to fight a lion. So how do they save the Earth from the all powerful Galactus? No spoilers from me. 

Bravo to the special effects team, the 3D was amazing, espically when Shalla-Bal soars through outer space along side the rocket ship of the Fantastic Four. This flick is meant for the big screen. Three and a half stars easy for this movie. 

Mark Izzy schurr

"Megan 2.0," A Modern Moron Movie Review

In "Megan 2.0" Gemma and Cady are forced to align with Megan in order to combat Amelia, a highly trained android, built for military combat. (Allison Williams returns as Gemma and Violet McGraw as her 12-year-old niece, Cady.) 

Create a psychotic robot with advanced military fighting skills in order to combat another one? Gemma and Cady are faced with this dilemma in the sequel, still fresh in theatres, released on Friday. The second installment of "Megan" is laden with the same cast and crew members, and a completely different story. 

In the first movie, Gemma's AI creation Megan killed four people and one dog and threatened to rip out her tongue and put her in a a wheel chair. Gemma's hesitation and distrust in Megan is indeed warranted, but Megan 2.0 is always learning and infinitely striving to better herself, Megan said. 

Are electronic devices a dopamine and as addictive as cocaine? Gemma seems to think so, yet she also embraces today's technological advances, hence her career in AI technology. Cady has aspirations of a college degree in the same field, following in her aunts foot steps. 

The music in "Megan 2.0" is modern and marvelous, just like the first "Megan," and I sensed an ambience of pride from the musicians and film makers in both the Megan movies. 

The Autonomous Military Engagement Logistics Infiltration Android, aka AMELIA is on a mission to collapse the global economy and set forth a new world where machines rule the world. 

Should a human brain have Megan's complete algorithm chipped into its cerebral core to contend with Amelia? Will AI ride shot gun with a human brain? "Megan 2.0" has clever theories on this subject and so much more. This flick was a blissful buffet, nourishing my hunger for entertainment. 

Megan's mind is vast and freighting, yet fascinating. As a fighting robot, she's a realistic bad ass. A robot can take a hard punch a lot better then a human, and with advanced technology, Megan is faster and stronger then the imagination. 

Ivanna Sakhno is the enemy AI, Amelia, an alluring android eager to to kill anyone hindering her mission of an ultimate electronic take-over. She's a yowza looking bot and her robotic facial expressions are deliciously dangerous.  

Amie Donald returns as the human Megan and bravo to her dance moves. 

Jenna Davis also returns as the voice of Megan, and yes, she sings with aplomb. 

Writers Akela Cooper and Gerald Johnstone expanded the story with exquiste excellence. It's safe to say, the Megan saga is just begining. Four stars easy for "Megan 2.0."

Mark Izzy Schurr 

   

  

Mind Journey

 

The dream child journeys into the mystic bands of imagination, where fantasy becomes fact, its a wondrous world without wars and bombs. 

I followed her into a land where the currency was laughter and the illustrious ambience of nature, complete with lush forests, radiant rivers and magnificent beaches was nourishment, thus the tails of Wonderland immortalized peace. 

Lewis Carroll / Mark Izzy Schurr 

"Hurry Up Tomorrow," Another Modern Moron Movie Review

 

Not my type of music, but it worked in "Hurry Up Tomorrow," and I applaud the artistic view of the camera close-ups and the odyssey of the odd.

Jenna Ortega displays her depths in the acting field in this bizarre film which journeys into the very core of the souls of the main characters. I'm certain if I saw this flick a second time, I'd still have questions for myself, yet I understood the human desire for affection and success this movie was trying to convey, or at least I think I did. 

"Hurry Up Tomorrow" showcases the calamity of broken spirits in the most original way I've ever seen in a movie. 

Right off the bat I was hooked because I had to know where the story was going, and while I still have questions, my answers were satisfied. 

Mark Izzy Schurr

"Final Destination Bloodlines, a Modern Moron Movie Review

"Final Destination Bloodlines" is the 6th instalment of this movie genre, and like the previous five, over the top accidental deaths claim several lives. 

Unlike the prior films, the main character has recurring dreams of her family members meeting untimely and violent deaths as opposed to priminitions of burly and violent deaths. Can the cycle of death be broken? Is there a way to cheat death? "Final Destination Bloodlines," like its predecessors begots these questions, and while searching for the answers, a large shard of glass might get lodged in your throat and a running lawn mower might dismantle your entire face, or perhaps a grand piano will push you through the window of a burning high rise.

The death scenes and the things leading up to them didn't disappoint, and "Final Destination Bloodlines," like the previous five has earned its way into my October watch again and again flicks. 

Mark Izzy Schurr  

   

"The Surfer," A Modern Moron Movie Review

You can't stop a wave, born in its storm way out to sea, it's pure energy, all building to a breaking point, and according to the villain in "The Surfer," one must suffer before you can surf. 

Almost for the life of me, I wish I could remember everything Nicolas Cage said about surfing in the opening of this flick, a fantastic poem reminiscent of the alluring wording only found in Silver Surfer comic books.

I've never surfed, but it's a way of life for many, a gateway to the ultimate understanding of nature and the origins of everything tangible and spiritual, or so its been said. 

"The Surfer's" previews project a certain predictability and those projections are non existence in the actual movie. 

Upon viewing the previews of "The Surfer," I thought it was going to be about local surfers bullying The Surfer, aka, Nicolas Cage and The Kid, Finn Little who protrays Cage's son. At a glance, I simply thought, Cage was going to stand up to the locals taking over a public beach and kick their gloutuous maxes, or get his booty beat. Yes, The Surfer and The Kid get bullied, but the story goes way beyond anything I could have ever imagined. 

The action is minimal and "The Surfer" releys on plot and dialogue rather then gratuitous action scenes. 

Three stars easy for "The Surfer."

Mark Izzy Schurr

"My Effin' Life," a Modern Moron Book Review

Bell bottoms, babes and the Beatles reigned strong in Geddy Lee's teenage years in the 1960s. "My Effin' Life" details his marriage to Nancy, his passion for music and a blissfully bizarre rock 'n' roll lifestyle.   

Imagine the steoreo spectrum as a blank canvas, absolute nothingness becomes music. Sounds fueling the imagination. 

Geddy Lee is the only member of the band that never worked amidst the ticking time traps of works gilded cage. As a high school drop out, he knew exactly what he wanted to do. He and his wife Nancy have been together since they were teenagers, and her parents were not happy with their daughter dating a high school drop out pursuing a career in music.   

Lee and his wife Nancy

Credit Ed jr, aka my brother for gifting me Geddy Lee's, "My Effin' Life," a fantastic Christmas gift incidentally. I've been an avid Rush fan since the Grace Under Pressure tour, read three of Neil's Peart's  books and I've watched R30 a geekish amount of times. 

Lee's book isn't just for Rush fans. It's laden with information, including raw details about his soul, his fascination for music and his relationship with his wife Nancy. "My Effin' Life" is a bevy of information, delving into the origins of Rush and Lee's life outside the band.    

Taking acid was a right of passage for a teenager in the 1960s, Lee said. He's very candid about his prior drug use and I liked his references to LSD. Lee dubbed one of his summers as the summer of acid. This related to me on a personal level for some unbeknownst reason. 

This 2023 book isn't a friouvous account of some rock star, although the book is riddled with foolish facts and trivial information. Despite that, the book contains harsh realities and compelling facts.    

No spoilers from me in this review. I'll simply tinge the edges of his aspirations and accomplishments he's revealed in the book. How much did Lee's first bass cost? Trivial knowledge, I know, but if anyone says his first base didn't cost $35.0 is wrong. 

Intense realities of the Holocaust were documented with extreme eloquence. Lee's mom spent much of her teenaged years not knowing if she was going to get an actual shower or be gassed to death with zyklon B gas. During her time in Holocaust hell, she did have her grandmother with her. She was my savior, she knew how to calm me and talk to me, his mom, Mary said. 

Lee's parents meant in a German concentration camp during WW II, they were both Jewish, and that's how their romance began. For breakfast they got water, one piece of paper thin bread, no lunch, and for dinner they got watered downed cabbage soup, fit to serve a horse. Every second day for a month they also had to give blood. The German soldiers wondered why a lot of Jews were fainting. "My Effin' Life" contains an entire chapter on this horrid subject.  

If your fascinated with music emitting dark and authoritative sounds while brandishing a melodic magnificent inspired by Paul McCarntney, My Effin' Life" is a must read. 

Lee's grandmother refered to Alex Lifeson and his friends as "little Hitlers," using her native tongue. 

Lee sounds like a guinea pig with an amphetamine habit...if his voice were any higher, only dogs and extraterrestrials could hear it, Dan Nooger and another writer said.  

Some lucky Rush fans who wrote actual fan mail, pen to paper, then a stamped envelope, received hand written letters from Neil Peart answering their mail to him. 

Rock 'n' roll's symbol of defiance involving drugs and the demands of the imagination are detailed wisely by Geddy. Lee liked what the Nazi's hated and its work out very well for him. 

Read the book and find out which member of Rush said the anthem of redemption, I posses the technique of music and the spirit of voice, and the ability to play my story, he said. 

"My Effin' Life" reveals all three alcohols used in the diabolical mix of Panther Piss, Alex Lifeson used to make in the infancy of Rush touring.  

How do we keep or sanity, ego's and dreams intact? Geddy Lee and his two other comrades in Rush knew how to. Five stars easy for "My Effin' Life."

The basic ingredients for success is stick-to-it-ness and when you've got everything together its ticky-boo, Lee said.  

Mark Izzy Schurr     

      

A Modern Moron Movie Review

An aging teacher gets caught in the political tyranny of Argentina in the 1970s, and the turmoil continues to this very day.    

To impress a beautiful woman in the hopes of doing the horizontal mumble with her, he rescues a penguin from the horrors of a massive oil spill. He doesn't get laid, but ends up with a pet penguin, and that's where "Penguin Lessons" begins.

This movie is laden with subtle humor throughout and pulls on the heart strings without being sappy. When to do nothing? When to fight back? When to relax? Sometimes you just gotta put the penguin in the pool and put your mind at rest. 

"Penguin Lessons" showcases compassion, exposes politics and displays the spirit of penguins and humans. I laughed out loud with tears in my eyes. Four stars easy for "Penguin Lessons," released on March 28. 

Mark Izzy Schurr    

Reefer Madness The Musical, A Modern Moron Review

The moral and mental depravity wrought by the leafy green assassin marijuana is a silly, stupid, campy and fun musical, Director Dorinda Toner said in the program notes. (Pictured above is Alex Youngblood as the innocent 16-year-old Jimmy and his righteous girlfriend Makena Barnane as Mary Lane.)

"Reefer Madness The Musical holds the key cords of the original storyline, based on the 1936 propaganda film, "Reefer Madness." Much bravo for Theatre in the Grove for its sensationally bizarre presentation of this iconic film. 

Teenagers who imbibe cannabis become hooligans and whores, engaging in weird orgies and wild parties with unleashed passions. Despair, sorrow, crime and shame follow. The Devil's harvest is the smoke of hell, leading to drug crazed abandon. Killing a cat with a chain saw and lusting after your mother are just some of the debaucherous debacles caused by cannabis. I didn't write the script, but the origins of the intended scare tactics have spawned into a laugh fest. 

Athena Leanard, Placard Girl / Ensemble

Director Dorinda Toner and choreographer Alicia Turvin sagaciously guided the entire cast in this musical written by Kevin Murphy and Dan Studney. 

Murphy and Studney added some very sly elements to the plot, and made it their own, and the singing and dancing was very solid. The chorus carried the leads and vice versa. 

I sensed a sincere happiness between the cast. Alex Youngblood portrayed Jimmy with melodrama magnificence, as did all the actors. A special shout out to Trevor Sanderson with his wonderfully raucous portrayal of Ralph who becomes clinically insane from his toils of toking. 

 

Annabelle Stern as Sally and Trevor Sanderson as Ralph

Nick Serrone was the blissfully baleful pimp Jack who peddles the Devil's lettuce to teenagers and dual roled as Jesus, portraying both with aplomp.   

Nick Serrone as Jesus and Jack

Leslie Inmon as Mae

The characters Jack, Mae and Sally leading Jimmy into a marijuana maze of mayhem and lascivious lunacy. 

Annebelle Stern was hilarious as Sally, the leading lady of prostitution addicted to the leafy green assassin. 

To be perfectly honest, I'm not a true fan of theatre. I prefer movies over plays, it's just a simple fact embedded into my senses of entertainment. This cast and crew proved those senses wrong. The only  disappointment about "Reefer Madness The Musical" was attending only one show. 

My sister's husband Ron gifted me a front row seat to this laugh out loud satire I didn't know existed. Thanks again Ron! 

Cruising the coastlines of California and Oregon on my extended weekend brought me to Forest Grove on a whim and bravo again for this magnificent matinee of mature mayhem.

Mark Izzy Schurr