A Modern Moron Movie Review

The diabolical intentions of six kidnappers meets the nefarious desires of Abigail, a 12-year-old vampire.  

Six high profile thieves follow the dictates of an entity who convinces them to seize Abigal and hold her hostage for millions of dollars. Each of the six is set to make $7 million apiece, so they go along with the plan. 

This was the most original vampire story I've ever seen. Nonfans of graphic horror might wanna pass on "Abigal," but I laughed out loud on occasion, and the blood and gore are not the focal point of this flick. 

All the actors were believable in an utterly bizarre blitzkrieg of nonsense, but somehow "Abigal" works, and I found myself rooting for Abigal, extremely well portrayed by Alisha Weir. I also didn't want Joey to die. Joey was the sexy and savvy black-haired dream, Melissa Barrera.  

The ending was something I didn't see coming. Three stars easy for "Abigal." 

Mark Izzy Schurr 

A Modern Moron Book Review

Using her acorn compass and the help of Lewis Lady bug, Beatrix Butterfly and Cleo Cricket, Addie Ant sets forth on an all-day adventure. 

Addie lives with her two aunts, Gertie and Zelda in the tomato bed and decides to venture to where the watermelons and sunflower seeds grow. 

"Addie Aunt Goes on an Adventure" is the first book by acclaimed singer and song writer Maren Morris and former schoolteacher Karina Argow and illustrated by Kelly Anne Dalton.  

Books and stories for young children still exist, and bravo to the trio of women who spawned Addie Ant. 

We cannot stay home all our lives; we must present ourselves to the world and we must look upon it as an adventure. (Beatrix Potter) 

Three and a half stars for the April release of "Addie Ant..." 

Mark Izzy Schurr 

Another Modern Moron Movie Review

A group of combat journalist encounter military maniacs without conscience or restraint and eager to kill anyone not born in the United States and that's just a small part of what happens in "Civil War," released on Friday.  

A college aged woman is determined to be a combat journalist and she gets what she bargained for and the horrid details of war reign in her camera's eye. I never had the desire to be a combat photographer and "Civil War" affirms these feelings. 

Three stars easy for "Civil War." 

Mark Izzy Schurr.   

  

 

A Modern Moron Movie Review

In order for the Catholic Church to survive, it's hierarchy resurrected the devil's son as an infant in 1971 in this month's "The First Omen."  

The latest installment of "The Omen" follows the book on the details of the pre and actual birth of Beelzebub's son. The unscrupulous and extremely macabre orphanage got their baby evil into the world of high-profile politics as an infant in the early 1970s in hopes he becomes the President of the United States. 

It's absolutely horrid what happens to many young nuns in this Roman church, but "The First Omen" writers, crew and actors left the absolutely horrifying details to the mind. Released on the 5th, "The First Omen" is the 6th installment of "The Omen" films, first released in 1976. The American nun, and star of the film displays true resistance and unites with another nun in a cunning ploy to escape the nefarious Roman church. 

This version is a prequal to the original movie and it's clearly set up for a sequel I'd definitely go see. I was disappointed the entire film revolved around Satan's birth, but the ending has an unsuspecting curve and a valid foe against Damien, the son of the Devil. Does the Devil have a sister?

Just under three stars for "The First Omen,"  

Mark Izzy Schurr