The Laughing Loser

That's me, the happy failure, and no, this blog is by no means a boo-hoo-hoo I hate my life and want to die and feel sorry for myself drivel scribble.

While the following may be drivel, I'm certainly not down on myself, but non the less, a loser. I consider myself a failure because I never had the talent to play center field for the Oakland Athletics, will never be a journalist for the New York Times, Oakland Tribune, Cloverdale Reveille, a photographer for Playboy Magazine or Sports Illustrated, never write a best selling novel, nor star in a Broadway play. I'll never make the huge bucks, so I will never channel massive amounts of money into my local educational system and my income is too low for a man my age to land a decent women;

'Love and romance? Not a change with my current finance.'

Above picture at Kaumana Caves Hawaii this month with my Cloverdale family.

I love my new job, even though janitorial work is not nearly challenging enough for my creative mind, but I'm not smart enough for success or to work in a field I truly love working in; that old chest nut, didn't pursue journalism immediately out of high school, too much of a head case to work full time with children, blah, blah, ouu laa laa, life goes on.

Hawaiian nature with my 'C' town crew.

I still reminisce of the early part of this century when I was a preschool teacher for the YWCA, A Children's Place from July 2000-September, 2004. Taking pictures of the children engaged in various activities and play, then using those pictures to make year books for the children going off to kindergarten was one of my favorite aspects of being a preschool teacher. I also learned I'd have been a horrible father while teaching preschool.



My back yard for over a week earlier this month.

 

This is the worst island (the big island) according to some. Hmm...

When your on the same IQ level as preschoolers, they bask in your presence, but they don't listen to necessary direction, hence it's hard to teach even the simple things such as color and shape recognition and writing their own names. Now I just volunteer with children once a week at the YMCA which is very rewarding and fun for me, especially reading to the little ones.

When I worked at A Children's Place I was living with and dating a woman who had three children, including her youngest child Alonda who was 3-years-old at the time. Alonda was one of the children enrolled in A Children's Place and in my group, The Brown Bears, hence, that's how Debby and I met. Other parents and teachers at A Children's Place enjoyed my presence perhaps because I was 'quote, unquote' a normal human being with a fiancée in touch with life in the land of the loving.

Fast forward to now, Debby and I remain friends, while the insane powers that be took 17-year-old Alondra's life in January. Proof there is no divine plan, gravity through billions of years randomly pulled various matters together, and here we all are, living and dying just because...

 

The art of nature in Hawaii.

I've learned to embrace the positives in life; a few fantastic friends who embrace me like my unobtrusive companions such as Irene (my Saturn) and Rush music / lyrics. I have a full time job with awesome benefits. I honestly thought I'd never travel anywhere my entire life because of a lack of income. Employment with a company that issues Paid Time Off, currently 18 days a year, and will top out at 33 days yearly. If I play my cards right, I can travel annually for the rest of my life utilizing my PTO hours, and continue to share occasional evenings with a drink and friend(s).

Blogging and photography are valuable assets to my sanity and joy as well as barbeques and ball games.

"Profound joy of the heart is like a magnet that indicates the path of life," Mother Teresa said.

Soft Sin, Murder and Mystery of the 1940s Falls Flat in the Novel "The Black-Eyed Blonde."

The resurrection of 30s and 40s detective Philip Marlowe in this year's novel is a maze of misery.

It's easy to understand why best selling author Benjamin Black did not have a best seller in his latest book, "The Black-Eyed Blonde." Black futility tries to bring back the heralded detective created by Raymond Chandler when black and white movies ruled the big screen of dark theaters across the globe.

Fictional private dick, Philip Marlowe was brilliantly brought to life by Humphrey Bogart in at least two films; "The Maltese Falcon," (1941) and "The Big Sleep." (1946). Marlowe, the private detective first emerged in Chandler's 1939 novel, "The Big Sleep."

A young woman's enticing beauty, sexual desires and conquests blended into a martini complete with deception, mystery, murder and money are ingredients for a phenomenal story, yet "The Black-Eyed Blonde" is a barrage of boring.

The non use of profanity and the PG way the book was written is fine, but heavy adult material needs some intrigue, a blast of real sin, a taste of heart felt emotions conflicting with harsh realities and decisions embedded in a sound mind.

The story begins when Marlowe is in his office when a foxy well dressed blonde woman comes into his office, Mrs. Cavendish offering big money to locate her lover, Nico Peterson. Peterson was the man she was cheating on her husband with. Cavendish withholds a lot of useful information to Marlowe and a lot of plot twists come about. All the plot twist lead to an uninteresting tale of terrible.

By the time its found out love was an illusion, the big bucks weren't there and Marlowe will live to work another case, so what. "The Black-Eyed Blonde" was less interesting than a tag on the collar of T-shirt, as captivating as toe nail clippings and as much fun to read as an electric companies odometer.

The movie "The Big Sleep" with Bogart (detective Marlowe) and Lauren Bacall defined 'cool.' Marlowe's candor in the "Maltese Falcon" was priceless especially when he's offered $100.00 (serious cash in 1941) for a retaining fee, and his client says, "you will take, say $100.00? Marlowe reaches into the mans wallet, takes $200.00 dollars and replies, " I will take say $200.00. My point is that if your going to resurrect a classic character, make sure the character stays true to there natural form and charm and not completely pulverize the character and transform it from funny and entertaining to drab and dull.

The only reason I gave this horrible read even one star was because of the way Marlowe described the cigarette woman working at the movie theater; 'She was a nice looking girl serving cigarettes and candy dressed in a chambermaids out fit, complete with the short shirt. I got the image of Bogart's cool sounding voice intoning those words. The book also ripped on my home town of Santa Rosa which also helped up its rating for me.

The city of Santa Rosa is not friendly or welcoming to the entertainment industry. At least when it comes to horror movies, just read the credits to the movie "Scream;" And no thanks to the City of Santa Rosa...

Sixties, 70s and 90s Music Acquired From the Library Ease the Ears

The last three CD's I recently checked out enhanced my driving experience immensely with blistering sounds engulfed in melodically structured vocals, instrumentals and great writing.

"Black Rain" by rock 'n' roll icon Ozzy Osbourne didn't disappoint. If not a free check-out, I would have never listened to this metal mastery of marvelous. This is not a mental album, but it's labeled as such. "Black Rain" is a hard rock album geared toward true rock 'n' roll, meant to provoke individual thoughts, enlighten its listeners to the injustice of government and the evils of power and war.

The first three songs on "Black Rain" pelt the ears with raucous rhythms while guitarist Zakk Wylde's leads construct the chaos into gripping music. Osbourne co-wrote all ten songs on the CD with Wylde and producer Kevin Churko.

"Not Going Away," the first song not only stays true to hard rock, but is Osbourne saying he's here to stay, continue touring and making more music. Osbourne is nothing like his character portrayed in his sitcom from 2002-2005. He speaks in clear sentences and his mind is keen. Great actor indeed.

"I Don't Wanna Stop," the second song is even harder sounding then the first, pleasantly so and I love the lyric, ' too many religions, only one God...' Religion is first and foremost a business and business is all about money. Naturally Christians and other denominations get upset, even vicious when other churches cut into their profits. Osbourne has arguably imbibed in every drug known and unknown to human kind, but he is one soulful writer, and his lyrics are intellectually sound.

"Black Rain," the title track is a fantastic anti war song.

...a flag drape over a coffin, another soldier is dead...we've crossed too many borders, military suicide, war, killing sons and daughters, I watch the body count rise, why are the children all marching in the desert to die? (Osbourne, Wylde, Churko)

Those lyrics alone boosted the rating of "Black Rain" above three stars.

The fourth song "Lay Your World On Me," is a love ballad, sagaciously written.

...give me your pain, give me your anger, I can take the weight...lay your world on me...we all fall and lose our faith in who we really are...the choice is for us to make it together. (Osbourne, Wylde, Churko)

"The Almighty Dollar" is the sad harsh reality of our lives.

...Rape, steal and murder...God bless the almighty dollar...you kept us blind and mislead...chained to industrial need... The almighty dollar governs the world into upheaval of greed, injustice and the over all manipulation of the masses. Osbourne is enlighten, and he shares his thoughts extremely well.

"Silver" is the heaviest tune on the disc which only fans of heavy mental and acid rock could appreciate. No matter how you bake the cookie, 2007's "Black Rain" is a must listen for all hard rock 'n' fans; 3 and half stars easy.

1993's "Siamese Dream," the second album by the Smashing Pumpkins is one of the best hard rock albums of all time, even if only three of the 13 songs are top notch. The first three songs on the disc captivate the hard rock ear with pulverizing guitars by Billy Corgan and James Iha punctuated by the heavy drumming of Jimmy Chamberlin. Progressive rock guides metal into a blissful realm of musical mischief.

"Today," the third song may be a little too heavy for a wedding march, but I could see it working. As the father is walking the soon to be bride down the isle of mystery, the lyrics in the song encased in the heavy guitar lead bleed bliss; 'Today is the greatest day I've ever known...I wanted more than life could ever grant me...

"Death Proof" is the sound track to a Quentin Tarantino movie with the same name. Much of the music on this disc is balefully bizarre. 1995's "Chick Habit" by April March harnesses a true 60s hip sound sung wonderfully by March. She hits the high notes with aplomb and delivers the verse 'your gonna need a heap of glue when they all catch up with you and they hack you up two... Fitting words for a Quentin Tarantino flick.

"Jeepster," "Baby it's You" and "Down to Mexico by the Coasters are the most catchy songs on this sound track. British band T. Rex's 1971 "Jeepster" has a theme as old as time itself; love and lust. ...your so sweet, your so fine, I want you all and everything, just be mine... "Jeepster's" beat may get you off your seat and dancing.

"Baby it's You" preformed by Smith in 1969 is another upbeat song about yearning for that special someone. 1956's "Down to Mexico" withstands the ultimate test of time sure to get most heads bobbin as the cool riffs in the tune imbibe the ears with joy.

"It's So Easy" by Willy Deville is a raucous song fitting for the final action scene in "Death Proof." The worst things about these three CD's was having to return them to the library. Lovers of hard rock and ones who enjoy old school music should embrace these albums while fans of modern day mainstream would most likely hate real instruments beget from these CD's. Bottom line, the local library is an awesome source for entertainment and knowledge.